Ask Comic Strips - Page 32
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Character
413 Results for Ask
View 311 - 320 results for ask comic strips. Discover the best "Ask" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday January 26,
2015
What Phase Of The Project
Tags insult, insulting, project, questioning
Transcript
Boss: What phase is your project in? Dilbert: This is the phase where people ask stupid questions. Boss: How long does it last? Dilbert: It isn't looking good for today.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday March 07,
2015
Alice Is Highest Paid Engineer
Tags discrimination, money, salary, sexism, violence, wages, Women, highest paid, sciccors, mallet, reputation
Transcript
Alice: I'm the highest-paid engineer in the department now. Dilbert: Does it have anything to do with those scissors, the mallet, and your reputation for violence? Alice: Would you ask a man that question? Dilbert: Gaaa!!! It's like a super-power!
Tuesday March 10,
2015
Ceo Agrees To Mentor Wally
Wednesday April 29,
2015
Strategy To Get What You Deserve
Tags Promotion, recognition, strategy, business, competition
Transcript
Tina: I didn't get the promotion I deserve. Alice: What strategy did you use? Tina: Who uses a strategy to get what they deserve? Alice: Maybe you should ask the person who got your job. She sounds smart.
Wednesday May 27,
2015
List Of Known Problems
Tags joke, insult, misanthrope, misanthropy
Transcript
Alice: Did you get the link I sent you for our company directory? Boss: I didn't ask for that. I asked for a list of known problem... Oh. Not funny. Alice: Then how do you explain this?
Friday June 05,
2015
Employees Are Our Most Valuable Asset
Tags statement, value, motivation, backfire, praise
Transcript
Boss: People are our most valuable asset. Dilbert: I will remind you of that when I ask for a raise. Alice: Me, too. Boss; It blew up in my face.
Saturday June 06,
2015
Don't Want To Set A Precedent
Tags overwork, work ethic, exhaustion
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you mind if I only work sixty hours this week? I need some rest. Boss: I don't want to set a precedent that your health matters. That's a slippery slope. Dilbert: I might die from sleep deprivation. Boss: Don't ask me to validate your selfishness.
Monday June 22,
2015
Not That Invested In Your Success
Tags work ethic, laziness, communication, excuse, excuses
Transcript
Wally: I made no progress on your project because I was waiting to ask you some questions. Coworker: You could have emailed me. Or texted me. Or stopped by my desk. Wally: I"m not that invested in your success.
Sunday July 19,
2015
Tags public speaking, presentation, question, questions, stupid, idiot, idiots, criticism, critic
Transcript
Boss: I need you to critique my presentation for the board. And don't hold back to spare my feelings. Dilbert: That probably won't be an issue. Alice: We got this. Boss: My product idea has three components. Alice: How do you know another company isn't secretly preparing to launch the same product? Boss: What kind of stupid question is that? Alice: It's the same question you asked me yesterday about my product idea. Boss: The board won't ask that. Alice: Don't be so sure. I hear they're idiots.
Sunday July 26,
2015
Tags meeting, first impression, culture, interview, job interview, deception, revenge, nice, niceness, nice people, business
Transcript
Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.

