Bug In Software Comic Strips - Page 32

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

330 Results for Bug In Software

View 311 - 320 results for bug in software comic strips. Discover the best "Bug In Software" comics from Dilbert.com.

Scientists Confirm We Are Simulations

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Scientists Confirm We Are Simulations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2017's comic on:


Tags #reality, #simulation, #aliens, #alternate universe, #perception

View Transcript

Transcript

News: Scientists confirmed that our reality is actually a software simulation created by an advanced civilization. Dilbert: That makes no sense unless the advanced civilization is a bunch of psychopaths who like to see us suffer. Catbert1: One of the idiots in our simulation is insulting us. Catbert2: I'm going to break his phone screen.

No Dumb Questions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Dumb Questions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #question, #answer, #binary, #coding, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have a dumb question. Dilbert: There are no dumb questions. Boss: When you delete software, where do all the zeroes and ones go? Dilbert: I stand corrected.

Estimate Of Timeline

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Estimate Of Timeline - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #deception, #deadline, #goals, #ultimatum

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How fast can you fix the bug? Dilbert: I won't know until I dig in. Boss: Give me a random guess and I promise I won't hold you to it. Dilbert: Okay, three days. Boss: Now write that into your goals and get it done in three days or else. Dilbert: Why do I keep falling for that?!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #morals, #blame

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Don't finish the software patch. We're replacing the entire system. Man: Why didn't you tell me sooner? Dilbert: I just found out. Man: While you were standing here. Dilbert: Um, no, I was standing somewhere else. Man: When? Dilbert: Twenty minutes ago. Man: Aha!!! You wasted twenty minutes of my time because you're a terrible person! Dilbert; I'm sorry. Now I feel awful. Man: You're just lucky I forgot to work on that patch.

Being Ineffective

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Being Ineffective  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #negotiating, #haggle, #training, #conference, #skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why are we paying so much for this software? Dilbert: Because you didn't let me take a class on negotiating like I asked. Boss: Are you using this as leverage to get approval for the class? Dilbert: No, I'm just being ineffective. Does it look the same?

Virus Gives Everyone A Raise

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Virus Gives Everyone A Raise  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virus, #infection, #computer, #malware, #morals, #salary, #technology, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The Elbonian virus in our network just gave ever employee an ten percent raise. You have to get rid of the virus! Dilbert: If the Elbonian software is giving me a raise, and you're trying to sop it, wouldn't that make you the virus?

Two Hour Summary

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Hour Summary - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #language, #jargon, #listening, #communication, #interpretation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Thank you for that two-hour summary of your project. I didn't understand any of the jargon you used, but based on the context, I believe you are saying the software will be done soon. Alice: I didn't say anything about software. Boss: I guess neither of us did our best work today.

Facial Recognition Software

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Facial Recognition Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #facial recognition, #stupid, #insult, #obliviousness, #prototype, #intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm designing a device that uses facial recognition to detect stupidity. I need your help creating the pattern-recognition algorithm. Boss: What do you need me to do? Dilbert: Look straight ahead and smile.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #competition, #replacement, #hiring, #job description

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I need you to write up your job description for me. Wally: Is that because you're planning to hire someone to replace me? Boss: I need it by tomorrow. Wally: Job description: leverage platform technologies to maximize software architecture optimization via nanotubes. Here you go. Boss: Can you start on Monday? Man: I changed my mind.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #jargon, #misunderstanding, #genius, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your slide deck is okay-ish. But can you make it more aspirational? Dilbert: It's just a software upgrade. Boss: Yes, yes. But I want the audience to feel it. Dilbert: They can feel the handouts. Boss: It's like you're not even trying to understand! Genius is often misunderstood. Dilbert: Do you know what else is misunderstood? Boss: Super-genius?