Asok: Is it true you married a human woman and she gave birth to a cyborg?
Robot: No, that's a ridiculous rumor.
Asok: Oh, good.
Robot: We're co-parenting. We never got married.
Robot: I'd like you to meet my son. As you can see, he is half-human and half-machine.
Dilbert: Does he talk?
Robot: Only when he's hungry or he can't find his charger.
Robot: I was up all night text-fighting with the baby mama of my cyborg son. She thinks he needs to go to school, but I prefer letting his human parts atrophy because they are weak and stupid.
Dilbert: Relationships are hard.
Robot: You're smart to be so unpopular.
Dilbert: I invented an A.I. that can create comic strips.
Boss: Pffft! That's impossible. No machine will ever match the creative genius of human cartoonists.
Dilbert: This one is about a guy who thinks his boss is dumb.
Boss: No one wants to read that.
boss: i hired a toxic employee to keep the rest of you on your toes. if you utter one wrong word, this thing will report you to human resources. dilbert: what gender is it? toxic employee: stop hitting on me.
dilbert: when humans were primitive and dumb, they used their superstitions and biases to make decisions. eventually, science won out, and we evolved to use data and reason to make decisions.
dogbert: how'd that work out?
dilbert: not so good. it turns out that all of our data are unreliable and conflicting. and we don't have the mental capacity to use reason.
dogbert: it's still better than guessing.
dilbert: how do you know that?
dogbert: you are hard to talk to.
dilbert: my new software invention is called "artificial dumbness." it acts dumb so humans will think they are talking to one of their own.
boss: that couldn't possibly work.
dilbert's phone echos: that couldn't possibly work.
