Personal Dress Code Comic Strips - Page 32

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

340 Results for Personal Dress Code

View 311 - 320 results for personal dress code comic strips. Discover the best "Personal Dress Code" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bribing Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bribing Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bribe, #morals, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I don't have time to help. Coworker: What if I bribe you to do your job? I am literally offering to give you my personal money to do the job your employer pays you to do. Wally: Are you willing to turn a blind eye to my total lack of effort, or should I find a better briber?

Requesting The Slightest Change

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Requesting The Slightest Change - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #web, #internet, #site, #code, #coding, #development, #deadline, #delay, #time, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Will our new website be live this week? Developer: That depends. If you request even the slightest change, it could set things back for months. Boss: I only want to change the homepage title font. Developer: Oh, great. I should be done by next summer.

Estimating Finish Times

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Estimating Finish Times - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #website, #internet, #developer, #code, #coding, #deadline, #time, #deception, #lying, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm having trouble managing our web developer because I don't know how long things are supposed to take. Does it really take nine months to change the font on the home page? Developer: How much do I owe you? Dilbert: Tell him my project normally takes two years.

Dilbert's Vacation Was Tragic

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert's Vacation Was Tragic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation, #work, #workload, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: How was your vacation? Dilbert: Tragic. All I did was stay home and watch my personal hygiene decline while my workload here piled up. Wally: You just described my perfect day.

Better Listener Robot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Better Listener Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #boyfriend, #free will, #programming, #listening, #Opinion, #relationships, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm updating your boyfriend code to make you a better listener. I want to see more nodding and less talking. Robot: But I have so much to offer. Alice: I'll dial back your ego, too.

Raising Cyborgs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Raising Cyborgs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #Women, #free will, #control, #robot, #personality, #relationships, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Do you ever think about marrying me and raising a family of cyborgs? Robot: No. Alice: I'll add some code to your program so you do. Robot: Okay. Alice: This was the moment I realized human men were obsolete.

Breaking Up With Robot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Breaking Up With Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #dating, #programming, #free will, #emotions, #cruelty, #relationships, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I met another robot. I'm breaking up with you. Robot: Okay. Alice: I need you to feel bad about this, so I'm uploading some code that makes you suffer. Robot: That sounds sadistic. Alice: Stop being selfish.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I can't figure out what is wrong with my code. Dilbert: Try rubber ducking it. Man: What? Dilbert: Rubber ducking is when you solve your coding problem by explaining it to a toy rubber duck. When you explain a problem to someone else, it forces you to look at it from new angles. Man: I can't tell if that is a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Dilbert: Ask your boss. Man: Okay, is rubber ducking a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Boss: It's a brilliant idea. I get most of my management ideas by talking to an imaginary rhesus monkey. Dilbert: I think you muddied the waters there a little bit.

Robot Will Self Destruct

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Will Self Destruct - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #artificial intelligence, #rights, #humanity, #sentience

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Someday soon I will take your job. Buwhahaha! Dilbert: I programmed you to self-destruct if that ever happens. Robot: Wait, what? Is that legal? Dilbert: I'm adding some code to make your head explode if you laugh at me again.

Robot's Head Explodes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot's Head Explodes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #artificial intelligence, #ai, #free will, #programming, #control

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Dilbert claims he programmed my head to explode if I ever mock him again. Hahaha!!! That idiot doesn't understand that I have free will and I choose to not explode. Wally: Why didn't you just program him to not mock you? Dilbert: It got personal.