2017 Comic Strips - Page 32

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Wally Presents To Board

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Wally Presents To Board - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stealth, invisibility, naked, surprise, hiding, camoflage

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Boss: I want you to present your stealth clothing prototype to our board. Wally: Are you sure? Boss: Of course I'm sure. CEO: I thought we were trying to make the person invisible. Wally: Then why is it called stealth "clothing?"

Monday

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Monday  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags thought, cognition, technology, invention, computer, intelligence

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Dilbert: I invented a neural interface for computers. Boss: Is that so users can control computers with their thoughts? Dilbert: No, the opposite. Your way would be like a squirrel trying to drive a car.

Arguing On Twitter With Facts

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Arguing On Twitter With Facts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags trolling, troll, social media, argument, logic, reason, arguing, technology

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Boss: Watch me win this debate on Twitter by providing facts and logic. Now we wait for everyone in the world to change their minds. Dilbert: How's the first minute going? Boss: What is wrong with these monsters?!!

Barry Dingle

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Barry Dingle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags questioning, correct, incorrect, explanation, answer

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Boss: Sorry I'm late. Barry Dingle keeps hanging around my office and asking hard questions. Dilbert: You don't know the answer to any hard questions. Boss: That's why it takes so long. Dilbert: So... you just spout nonsense until he leaves? Boss: That's my go-to strategy for most situations.

Boss Ends Neural Interface

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Boss Ends Neural Interface  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mind control, technology, invention, amnesia, forgetting, memory loss

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Dilbert: We removed the neural interface to your brain. Do you remember anything we made you do? Boss: No, not a thing. Dilbert: That's probably for the best. Boss: Did I break any laws? Alice: Not according to the cop you dated for three days.

Wally Works On Stealth Clothing

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Wally Works On Stealth Clothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invisibility, attendance, deception, laziness

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Boss: We won a bid to design stealth clothing for the military. Wally: Ooh! Ooh! I volunteer to work on that project. Boss: Um... okay. Narrator: One month later. Boss: Your attendance has been poor lately. Wally: Here's where I teach you about "reasonable doubt."

Neural Link To Phone

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Neural Link To Phone  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mind control, phone, technology, invention, cognition, thought

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Dilbert: When I press this button, your brain will form a neural link to your phone. Boss: Then I can control my phone with my thoughts? Dilbert: No, your phone will control you. Boss: Hey, I didn't agree to... Dilbert: Too late. Narrator: Continued...

Barry Dingle Asks About Blockchain

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Barry Dingle Asks About Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags questioning, time, quick question

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Barry: I see you're off your phone. Can I pop in and ask a quick question? Boss: Yes, but only if it is quick. Barry: Oh, it will be. Boss: Okay, make it quick. Barry: What is blockchain and how will it influence our strategy across all product lines?

Troll Has No Job

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Troll Has No Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags troll, trolling, social media, twitter, tweet, time, technology

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Boss: This troll on twitter refuses to let me have the last word. What kind of job does this idiot have that he can do this all day long??? Give me a few minutes here. Wally: Take your time.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags antisocial, goals, achievement, aspirations, frustration, reality

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Tina: Wally, do you have goals? Wally: My goal is to be an Olympic pole vaulter. Tina: You don't look... Wally: Sporty? Tina: I was going to say healthy. Wally: That's why Olympic pole vaulting is my goal> I wouldn't need a goal to do something easy. Tina: Are you training for it? Wally: No. Tina: You're living in a fantasy world! You'll never get to the Olympics! I can't sit here and listen to this. Dilbert: Looks like you accomplished your goal. Wally: Thanks for noticing.