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dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: do you like my new t-shirt? it's two sizes too small, but that's all they had. dogbert: wouldn't it be better to buy shirts that you like that are also the right size? dilbert: in theory, yes. but i have been buying t-shirts for years, and i don't recall seeing that option.
dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered a number of software vulnerabilities. for example, a blackmailer could take control of your network and make you pay a billion dollars to get it back. ceo: good work. what do we owe you? dogbert: the audit is free. i only did it to find ways to blackmail you.
conscience voice coming from dilbert's keyboard. keyboard: hello, human. i'm your keyboard's conscience. you should reconsider sending such a mean email. working remotely has caused you to devolve into an empathy-free monster who cares nothing for the feelings of other. dilbert typing: send keyboard: now you're just being a jerk.