2005 Comic Strips - Page 32
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
Monday November 07,
2005
Tags dance club, allow anyone, screen potential customers, dance moves, incorporated air guitar
Transcript
I opened a dance club that's so exclusive I don't allow anyone in. "I personally screen every potential customer until I find a reason to exclude." "Have your dance moves ever incorporated the air guitar?" "Yes."
Tuesday November 08,
2005
Tags unpleasant parts, free to concentrate, do startegy
Transcript
"I'd like to hire someone to do all of the unpleasant parts of my job." "That way I'll be free to concentrate on strategy." "Fair enough." "Secondly, I'd like to hire someone to do strategy."
Wednesday November 09,
2005
Tags working 80 hours, per wekk, ground breaking, starategies, my underlings
Transcript
I'm working 80 hours per week and you hire someone to do your work??? "Leave him alone so he can think up groundbreaking strategies." "Such as?" "I changed your job title to 'My Underling's Underling.'"
Thursday November 10,
2005
Tags underlings, anything useful, little people, deadly accident, vow, in office, listening to little people
Transcript
"Carol, don't let the underlings of my underling come into my office." "I can't learn anything useful by listening to the little people." "I renew my vow to lure you into a deadly accident!!" "Whoa! Whoa! Tell it to my underling."
Friday November 11,
2005
Tags double fees, management consulting, outsourcing job, india, double fee
Transcript
I found a way to double my management consulting fees. "I recommend outsourcing your job to India." "I'll double your fee if you never say that again." WAG!
Saturday November 12,
2005
Tags board meeting, outsourcing, ceo job, 26 million, elbonian ceo, good guy, consulting contract
Transcript
Board Meeting "I recommend outsourcing your CEO's job and saving the company $26 million per year." "For $4 per year you can hire an Elbonian CEO who is just as good as this guy." "Now do you understand why you should have renewed my consulting contract?"
Sunday November 13,
2005
Tags patent application, 3 emails, rude, insulting, condescending, back plane, gizmo
Transcript
"Remember to include my name on the patent application." "Why? You didn't help." "That's ridiculous! I've been helping you design that thing for months!" "I saved all three of your e-mails. Allow me to read them." "'Dude, is something wrong with your brain?'" "Later: 'Hey, Dilweed, maybe you should replace the backplane with a gizmo.'" "Then my personal favorite: 'Dilbag, I'm glad you took my advice to leave the backplane alone.'" "That's my way of helping." "It's great. You should patent it."
Monday November 14,
2005
Tags 10 million dollars, company, four people, weather website, web monitoring, business
Transcript
"Alice, this year you did the work of four people and made over $10 million for the company." "But according to our web monitoring software, you used company resources to look at a weather web site." "Thief."
Tuesday November 15,
2005
Tags what fresh hell, eyebrows grow, comb them, asleep, quiet today
Transcript
"What fresh hell is this?" "I'm letting my eyebrows grow out." "If I comb them over my eyes, no one can tell that I'm asleep." "You're quiet today."
Wednesday November 16,
2005
Tags programmers, agile programming, methods, more work, fewer people
Transcript
We need three more programmers. "Use agile programming methods." "Agile programming doesn't just mean doing more work with fewer people." "Find me some words that DO mean that and ask again."


