Mean Comic Strips - Page 32

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

333 Results for Mean

View 311 - 320 results for mean comic strips. Discover the best "Mean" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, supreme, ruler, earth, growing, mustache, grasp, figuratively

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dogbert says, "I've been thinking about my goal of becoming the supreme ruler of earth . . ." Dilbert says, "I know EXACTLY how you feel. I once had a goal of growing a mustache . . . But it was beyond my grasp." Dilbert continues, "I mean, figuratively beyond my grasp. I could still reach my upper lip, you understand . . . But there was no reason to try." Dogbert says, "Right, but back to me . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, bob, dinosaur, exhausted, need, answer, think

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at the table and says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Sometimes I wonder how a dinosaur like you can survive, Bob." Dilbert continues, "I mean, your brain is so tiny . . . You must get exhausted just trying to think. How do you do it?" Bob clenches his teeth and says, "Think think think." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . that's okay. I don't really need an answer to that question."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, armchair, students, attendants, gas, station

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to open a vocational training school." Dilbert asks, "For whom?" Dogbert replies, "Self-service gas station attendants." Dilbert asks, "You mean, students will pay you to teach them how to sit and do nothing?" Dogbert replies, "It makes you wonder why nobody is already doing it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, formula, society, benefits, century, discovery, anti-gravity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the wall and says to Dogbert, "My anti-gravity formula is the greatest discovery of this century!!" Dilbert looks down at Dogbert and says, "Just think of the benefits to society!!" Dogbert says, "You mean, after you float away?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bob, dinosaur, Dogbert, desk, armchair, president, bush's, springer, spaniel

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob the Dinosaur stands next to Dogbert's desk. Dogbert says, "I'm writing to President Bush's dog." Bob says, "You don't mean . . ." Dogbert responds, "Millie, their Springer Spaniel." Dogbert looks at Bob and asks, "Who did you think I meant?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, widow, johnson, missus, devoured, automatic, denture, invention, building, laugh

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at a woman's door and asks, "Are you Widow Johnson . . . Uh, I mean 'Missus' Johnson?" Dilbert says, "I'm afraid your husband was devoured by the automatic denture invention we were building." Dilbert continues, "Some day we'll look back at this and laugh." The woman looks shocked.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, annual, review, accomplishment, invention, automatic, dentures, long, pause, asleep

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching. Dilbert says, "My boss is giving me my annual review today." Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss reads and document and says, "Your biggest accomplishment was the invention of automatic dentures?" Dilbert replies, "They can eat while you're asleep." Dilbert thinks, "This long pause could mean anything."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, bob, dawn, doomed, naturally, jello, yodeling

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor holding hands and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Bob says, "We want to have an egg, but we don't know how." Dogbert replies, "Just do what comes naturally." Bob asks, "You mean . . . Roll in Jello while yodeling?" Dogbert says, "You're doomed."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, woman, loaves, bread, dough, grocery store, jimmy, toaster, bonded, post pardom

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a park bench with a woman holding a baby. Dogbert asks, "Why are you hugging that loaf of French bread?" The woman replies, "Hee hee! Yeah, newborn babies do look like loaves of bread." Dogbert says, "But in this case I think your baby IS a loaf of French bread." The woman looks closely at the blanket and says, "That would explain the smell of dough." The woman takes the bread out of the blanket. She says, "Must have been a mix-up at the grocery store." The woman says, "I hope this doesn't mean somebody is sticking little Jimmy in a toaster somewhere." Dogbert replies, "I'm sure he'll pop up." The baby pops out of a shopping bag. The woman says, "Ah, there you are in the grocery bag." The woman says, "I think I bonded with the bread." Dogbert says, "Remind me not to eat hoagies at your house."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, irrational, love, doc, literature, stupid, guy-thing, therapy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to him taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . And I've had this irrational love for hardware stores as long as I can remember." Dilbert continues, "I mean . . I LOVE them. I ACTUALLY love them. You gotta help me, doc." The psychiatrist says, "I've heard of this . . . I think the literature refers to it as 'a stupid guy-thing.'"