Product Comic Strips - Page 32

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385 Results for Product

View 311 - 320 results for product comic strips. Discover the best "Product" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brought dilbert, competitors product, cover cost, cup of coffee, makes product special, visiting the customer, deceptive advertising

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Kenny and Dilbert sit at a conference table with a customer. Kenny tells the man, "I brought Dilbert to explain what makes our product special." Dilbert says, "It's exactly like our competitor's product except we charge more to cover the cost of our deceptive advertising." The man gets up and leaves the room. Dilbert says, "While you're up, could you get me a cup of coffee?" Kenny looks angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags biggest prospect, brain overload, kenny sales weasel, tech specs, uses electricity, car

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, you'll work with 'Kenny the sales-weasel' on our biggest prospect." Dilbert and Kenny get into a car. Kenny says, "Tell me all of our product's technical specs on the way. I like to be prepared." They ride in the car. Dilbert says, "Our product is beige. It uses electricity." Kenny says, "Whoa! Brain overload!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags product requirements, design prodcut, doomed projects

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The Boss says, "Wally, we don't have time to gather the product requirements ahead of time." The Boss continues, "I want you to start designing the product anyway. Otherwise it will look like we aren't accomplishing anything." Wally sits with his feet up on the desk. He reads the newspaper and thinks, "Of all my projects, I like the doomed ones best."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags designing a brochure, emphasize things, product unique, higher prices, stale technology, fewer feature

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The caption says, "Designing a brochure." Dilbert sits at a conference table with a man from marketing. Dilbert says, "We'll want to emphasize the things that make our product unique." The man says, "Good good." Dilbert says, "Let's see . . . We have higher prices . . . Stale technology . . . Fewer features . . . And it's hard to use." Dilbert asks, "Can you work with that?" The man replies, "Suddenly I don't feel so bad that we won't be using 100 percent recycled paper."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags design product brochure, criminal fraud, marketing, not worng, conscience, marketing epople, business

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "I want you to work with our marketing people to design a product brochure." Dilbert thinks, "Groan." Dilbert sits at a conference table with a man from marketing. The man says, "Remember, what we do here might seem like criminal fraud but it's not. It's marketing!" Dilbert says, "Okay, as long as it's not wrong . . ." The man says, "Here's a jar to keep your conscience in. I'll put it in the closet with mine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bug in software, alert, work many hours, buy stock in competition, industry halo effect, compensation plan

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Wally sits at his desk thinking, "Whoa . . . I found a huge bug in our new software product." Wally thinks, "I could alert the development team and work many hours of overtime to fix it . . ." Wally thinks, "Or I could surf over to my online brokerage service and buy stock in our competition." Dilbert asks, "Are you going to lunch?" Wally replies, "No, I have to do an analysis." Dilbert walks away thinking, "When Wally works through lunch . . . It's time to buy stock in our competition." Dilbert tells Alice, "Wally's working through lunch!" Alice says, "Quick! To the online brokerage service!" The Boss reads the newspaper and thinks, "Our competition is up ten points on no news. We're up two, maybe from the industry halo effect." The Boss tells Alice and Wally, ". . . Or maybe our new compensation plan is motivating smarter behavior." Wally says, "I think you nailed it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags body rejected, payment technology, smart card, body rejected card

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Dilbert hands the Boss a card and says, "It's called a 'Smart Card,' and we should build our next product to handle this sort of payment technology." Dilbert and Wally watch as the card jumps out of the Boss's hand. Dilbert says, "I've never seen that happen." Wally says, "His body rejected the 'Smart Card.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer support, elbonian data base, expensive consultant, five hundred dollars, meeting, business

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The Boss, Alice, Ratbert, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're going to replace our computer support systems with the Elbonian database product." The Boss gestures toward Ratbert and continues, "It's risky, but don't worry. I've hired an outrageously expensive consultant who has never done this before." Ratbert says to Wally, "I earned five hundred dollars just coming to this meeting. How's YOUR day going?" Wally replies, "It won't make my top ten."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elbonian database, payroll, accounts receivable, golf balls

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Dilbert and an Elbonian man sit at a conference table. The Elbonian says, "Our Elbonian database product can replace every one of your current systems." Dilbert says, "No thanks." The Elbonian tells Alice, "It can do payroll, accounts receivable, inventory, sales . . ." Alice says, "No thanks." The Elbonian tells the Boss, "And I'll throw in some golf balls." The Boss replies, "It's a deal! Just toss them in the lake with all my other ones."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags upgarde, product design, overheat, big picture, no benefits, over heating, sales are strong, end civilization

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "I made an upgrade to your product design." He hands Dilbert a document. Dilbert says, "This would make the product overheat." The Boss says, "Let's try to look at the big picture." Dilbert reads the document and says, "Okay . . . Let's see . . . Your upgrade has no benefits and it costs more." Dilbert continues, "The overheating would start office fires and put all of our customers out of business." Dilbert continues, "If our sales are strong, we could create economic chaos and a global firestorm." Dilbert concludes, "Your 'upgrade' would destroy civilization as we know it." The Boss says, "Keep me informed." Back at home, Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dogbert asks, "So you're going to end civilization as we know it?" Dilbert replies, "I don't think I'll miss it, frankly."