Wave Hand Comic Strips - Page 32
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Dilbert sits on an examining table. A man with a stethoscope says, "I'd like to try a treatment which may seem unconventional." The man waves his arms and shouts, "Oh hear me, Omdahr, Demon of Gaath, heal this man's arm!!" Dilbert asks, "Has that ever worked?" The man replies, "Beats me. I've never tried it before." A demon's hand reaches toward the man's head.
Dilbert stands at a teller window at the Bank of Ethel. The teller says, "I cannot allow this withdrawal . . ." The woman continues, "Unless you defeat me in hand to hand combat." Dilbert arrives at home with a bandage on his head and his arm in a sling. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "They seem pretty serious about encouraging the use of their automated teller machines."
The defense lawyer says to the jury, "My client has been accused of the most heinous crimes." The attorney points to a man holding an ax and wearing an executioner's hat. The attorney asks, "But does this look like a person who could kill??" Dogbert, who is sitting next to Dilbert, raises his hand and says, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!!"
Dilbert lies on the couch. He thinks, "Uh-oh . . . My foot is asleep." Dilbert thinks, "I'd better hop around . . . Oh no, my arm is asleep too." Dilbert thinks, "Ouch, ouch!! I'll have to hop and wave my arm." Dogbert watches Dilbert hopping and waving his arms. Dilbert speaks to Dogbert and his words are slurred. He thinks, "My tongue is asleep." Dilbert runs into the chair. Dilbert lies face down on the chair. He says, "Aaahhh . . . It's okay now, Dogbert. Everything is back to normal." Dilbert adds, "Except my nose is asleep and I feel a sneeze coming on."
Dogbert sits behind a cash register and says to a customer, "Welcome to Dogbert's New Age Mineral Water Spa . . . Hand over the cash." Dogbert says, "Hold it . . . The vibes from my crystal tell me we knew each other in a previous life . . . In ATLANTIS!" A man says, "That's what you told the last guy, too." Dogbert replies, "Atlantis was a small town. I ran the only donut shop."
Dogbert stands outside the post office truck yard holding the Sonic Obliterator. Dogbert says, "On one hand, I know it's wrong to use Dilbert's invention to blow up these empty mail trucks." Dogbert says, "On the other paw, this is gonna be more fun than sneezing on strangers." Dogbert continues, "It's a moral dilemma . . . But I like to think that difficult choices like this build character." Dogbert presses the trigger.
Dilbert, who has no head, walks up to Dogbert and asks, "Dogbert, could you give me a hand?" Dogbert says, "Paw." Dilbert points to his missing head and explains, "I pulled a loose thread on my shirt and my head got sucked into my torso." Dilbert asks, "What should we do?" Dogbert replies, "This might be a good time for a family portrait."
Dilbert walks into "Bob's Classy Clothes." Dilbert wears a pair of huge pants. He asks the salesperson, ". . . And you're quite certain these will shrink to fit?" The salesman replies, "You have my word as a retail salesman." Dilbert walks out of the store with a shopping bag. Dilbert shows Dogbert the pants. Dogbert says, "You were taken." Dilbert replies, "No, they shrink in the wash." Dilbert stands in front of the washing machine. Dogbert asks, "Will they fit now?" Dilbert replies, "Like a glove . . ." Dilbert holds the shrunken pants on his hand. He thinks, "Like a glove with two fingers."
A man stands at a podium and a witch sits next to him on the stage. Dilbert sits in the audience. The man says, "Welcome to another meeting of the 'Skeptics Society.'" The man continues, "Tonight we will use scientific methods to debunk Edna Griffin's claim that she can turn an audience into a flock of chickens. We'll need some volunteers . . ." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Motion to adjourn . . ." The man next to Dilbert looks at his watch and says, "Whoa, look at the time!"
Dilbert holds a can of furniture polish and a polishing cloth. Dogbert says, "Doing a little cleaning? Let me give you a hand . . ." Dogbert looks at his paws and says, "Wait . . . I can't lend a hand; all I have are these little paws." Dilbert says, "You'd make a good lawyer." Dogbert says as he walks away, "Charming . . . I offer to help and he insults me."