1994 Comic Strips - Page 32

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #talking, #glowing terms, #flaming idiot, #dynamite

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Dilbert: "Shhh." Wally: "We were just talking about you, sir...in glowing terms." Dilbert: "He's a flaming idiot." Wally: "One stick of dynamite - it's al I ask."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 1994's comic on:


Tags #potluck lunch, #bring bags, #salt, #ice, #beverage, #mineral water

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Alice: We've reached a new low in the 'potluck lunch' sign-up. Twelve people signed up to bring bags of ice and one person is bringing slat. I need one of you at least bring a beverage. Wally: Put me down for one bag of sparkling mineral water.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1994's comic on:


Tags #buzzword bingo, #buzzword, #very attentive, #proactive leadership, #bingo

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Wally: "Here's your 'buzzword bingo' card for the meeting." Wally: "If the boss uses a buzzword on your card, you check it off. The objective is to fill a row." The Boss: "You're all very attentive today. My proactive leadership must be working!" Wally: "Bingo, sir."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #back of neck, #humane, #layoffs, #tranquilizer, #unemployment offcie, #wake up, #shooter, #gun, #knocked out

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The Boss: The layoffs will be handled in the most human way possible. POW! Dilbert: How long does the tranquilizer last? The Boss: he'll wake up at the unemployment office,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1994's comic on:


Tags #45 inch screen, #communications staellite, #cure disease, #fish appear on screen, #great products, #marketing, #new product, #room freshener, #telepathic user, #whiten teeth, #time travel, #business

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How Great Products are designed The Boss: Go talk to marketing. Dilbert: Groan Dilbert: Dave, tell me what marketing wants the new product to do. Dave: It has to have a 45 inch screen and still fit in a purse or a wallet. Dave: It needs to act as a communications satellite as well as a room fresher. Dilbert: uh... Dave: it must cure deadly diseases and whoyten your teeth while you sleep! HAHA! and it has to be capable of time travel!! and have a telepathic user interface! Slap! Dilbert: I could write a program that makes fish appear on the computer screen, DAVE: yeah a lot of people want that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 1994's comic on:


Tags #computer, #deluxe, #state of the art computer, #feel happy, #song, #sing a song, #no need people, #technology

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Dilbert: "35 inch monitor, 20 MEGs of RAM, 1.2 gigabytes of hard disk space..." "I feel a song coming on." "People...who don't need people...are the ha-a-a-ppiest people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 1994's comic on:


Tags #resources vailable, #common employees, #more money, #project, #all gone, #hypocrite boss, #no time

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The Boss: "Although I'm technically the 'Boss' I believe it's my job to make resources available to you, the common employees." Dilbert: "I need more money for my project." The Boss: "Sorry, all gone." Dilbert: "Maybe I'll get on your calendar so we can discuss it." The Boss: I've got twenty minutes next summer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #forgiveness, #seek permission, #personal risk, #next reorganization, #sound stupid, #ask permission

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Wally: "I say it's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission." TED : "I say it's better to seek permission, thus delaying your personal risk until it all becomes moot in the next reorganization." Wally: "That makes mine sound kinda stupid." TED: "Get over it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 1994's comic on:


Tags #appointment, #booked, #every yahoo, #set priorities, #calendar

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The Boss: As the leader of this organization it's my job to set priorities. Carol: Heres your calendar, I booked you through next year with every yahoo who could dial your number. The Boss: Maybe I'll call this a priority.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 1994's comic on:


Tags #trying to please, #fool, #better please, #crush you, #selfish dogbert, #justa thought, #others, #threatened

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Dilbert: "I can't live my life trying to please others." Dogbert: "I think I can speak for all others when I say, 'Fool! You'd better please us or we'll crush you!'" Dilbert: "It was just a thought." Dogbert: "We 'others' don't like to be threatened."