2001 Comic Strips - Page 32
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Character
Saturday February 24,
2001
Tags alice the manager, emptiness, no soul, play air guitar, dance
Transcript
ALICE THE MANAGER: Alice says to The Boss, "How do I cope with the emptiness of having no soul?" The Boss dances and shows his teeth and says to Alice, "Try doing this with your teeth while you dance." Alice asks, "Is there another way?" The Boss says, "I can teach you to play air guitar."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday February 23,
2001
Tags sould, alice, manager, claim ticket, demoted, play sax
Transcript
A little cloud hovers near Alice and says, "Hello, Alice. I'm your soul." Alice looks alarmed as a hand reaches for the cloud. The cloud says, "You're a manager now; You won't be needing me." A man in a devil suit holds the cloud, hands Alice a small piece of paper and says to her, "Here's a claim ticket in case you get demoted or learn to play sax."
Thursday February 22,
2001
Tags praised alice, lying, stealing.no choice, promote, management
Transcript
The Boss says to Catbert, "I inadvertently gave Alice verbal praise." Catbert asks, "Is she addicted?" The Boss says, "She's been lying and stealing to get more." Catbert replies, "She leaves us no choice." The Boss says to Alice, "I have to promote you to management."
Wednesday February 21,
2001
Tags positive reinforcement, addicted, delivarables, praised
Transcript
Alice thinks to herself, "I'm addicted to positive reinforcement." Alice continues thinking, "I need some deliverables so I can be praised again." Dilbert watches as Alice reaches for the overhead projector from under the table.
Tuesday February 20,
2001
Tags positive reinforcement, addicted, wearing off, crazy woman, drool, lunch room, boss words
Transcript
Dilbert, Alice and Wally are eating lunch. Alice says, "I experienced something called positive reinforcement today." Alice continues, "I'm addicted to it now... But it's wearing off... Must get more..." Alice says, "Say something nice about me!" Dilbert chews his lunch as Wally says, "For a crazy woman you don't drool much."
Monday February 19,
2001
Tags stange, beautiufl, felling, waves, ecstacy, positive reinforcement, tingly, soul, good words from boss
Transcript
Alice says, "What is this strange and beautiful feeling inside of me?!" Smiling broadly, Alice says, "Waves of ecstasy are pulsing through my soul." The Boss thinks to himself, "This is why I only give positive reinforcement once a year." Alice's voice continues, "I'm all tingly!"
Sunday February 18,
2001
Tags call cemter, reduce call, questions, products, interface, average call, bonus, priesthood, mistake
Transcript
THE CALL CENTER: A worker sits in front of a computer wearing a telephone headset. A woman supervisor says to him, "Carl, reduce your average call time or you're history." Dilbert holds a portable telephone in his hand and presses buttons to dial a number to the sound of "Beep beep beep beep." Carl answers the phone angrily, saying, "What?!" Dilbert says into his telephone, "I have a question about your product." Carl yells into the telephone, "Faster! Faster! Faster!" Dilbert says into his telephone, "Um... It's about the interface." Dilbert hears Carl say, "Great. Thanks." There is the sound "click." Carl's supervisor says to him, "Your average call time is way down. You get a bonus." Carl holds his bonus check and thinks to himself, "Maybe it's a mistake to do this job while I study for the priesthood."
Saturday February 17,
2001
Tags deadlines, finish on time, forty hours, good news, bad news, boss, Dilbert
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer as The Boss says, "Good news: The deadline got pushed back a week." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Good news?! I've been working for forty hours straight to finish on time!" The Boss thinks, "I just realized I don't know the difference between good news and bad news."
Friday February 16,
2001
Tags nature lover, catch and release, torture fish, sounds bad
Transcript
The Boss and Web Mistress Ming are getting coffee. The Boss says, "I'm a nature lover. When I fish, I only do catch-and-release." Web Mistress Ming says to The Boss, "In other words, you torture fish for fun." The Boss sits at his desk alone and thinks, "I wonder why everything I do sounds bad when it's put in other words."
Thursday February 15,
2001
Tags never thought, organic pain, racing toward oblivion, self delusion, key to happiness
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "The key to happiness is self-delusion." Dobert says to Dilbert, "Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing toward oblivion." Dilbert says, "I've never had that thought... Until now." Dogbert says, "Don't blame me; I said don't."


