2007 Comic Strips - Page 32
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Character
Saturday February 24,
2007
Tags dead horse, gallops away, punch horse, store for everything, in office
Transcript
The boss: Someone left a dead horse in the hall. I am going to punch that dead horse until it gallops away. punch punch punch punch Dilbert: You were right. But where did you find a dead horse? Alice: Theres a store for everything.
Friday February 23,
2007
Tags pr campaign, stock price, grossly inflated, buy companies, make money, manage companies
Transcript
Dogbert: Thanks to my P.R. campaign, your stock price is grossly over-inflated." "Now you can use your stock to buy companies that actually make money." "After you manage those companies into the toilet, give me a jingle."
Thursday February 22,
2007
Tags favorable article, publish press release, write it, work, pay, bride, blackmail
Transcript
Tina: I hope you don't expect me to write a favorable article about your company just because you bought me drinks. Dogbert: No, I expect you to publish my press release and act like you wrote it. Tina: You can work or you can get drunk , but the pay is exactly the same.
Wednesday February 21,
2007
Tags free pubilcity, never been done, sir richard branson
Transcript
Dogbert does public relations "You can't get free publicity simply by doing something better." "You have to do something in a way that has never been done." "It's a Sir Richard Branson sort of thing. You wouldn't understand."
Tuesday February 20,
2007
Tags asthmatic dwarves, polygamous serial killers, reporter, slouch, wheeze, homicide, hen pecked
Transcript
Dogbert does public relations "Our products are made by asthmatic dwarves. You should do a story on that." "Not enough? Okay, what if the dwarves are also polygamous serial killers?" "When you talk to the reporter, try to slouch, wheeze, and act henpicked to the point of homicide."
Monday February 19,
2007
Tags free publicity, products are deadly, recalling everything, told the media, public relations
Transcript
The Boss:: I hired the Dogbert public relations firm to get us some free publicity. Dogbert: I've already told the media that your products are deadly and we're voluntarily recalling everything. The Boss: But...they aren't deadly. Dogbert: Hey, I don't tell you how to be fat. wally: snork
Sunday February 18,
2007
Tags arc welder, barrel of kerosene, growth on neck, health plan, laid eggs, pregnant termite, quick search, to diagnose, use google
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: The new company health plan is Google. From now on, employees must use Google to diagnose their own illnesses. For example, this guy has a growth on his neck. Guy: I do? Catbert: A quick search on my Blackberry tells me it's... Guy: What is it?!! Catbert: Ooh. Wow. A pregnant termite crawled into your mouth and built a hive in your esophagus. Guy: GAAA!!!" "Stop being a baby. The treatment for that is... Catbert: Do you have an arc welder and a barrel of kerosene?"
Saturday February 17,
2007
Tags good ideas, suffer your ideas, good listener
Transcript
The Boss: Alice, I have some good ideas about your project." Alice: GAAA! Why me?" Alice: Why must I suffer your ideas? Why, why, why?! The Boss: You're not a good listener. Alice: SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME!"
Friday February 16,
2007
Tags meeting, pointing, everyone else, business
Transcript
The boss: Who needs a little management help on their project? "You could almost feel the teamwork in the air."
Thursday February 15,
2007
Tags project coming, pile of failure, 15 drunken monkeys, jigsaw puzzle
Transcript
Wally: How's your project coming along? Dilbert: It's a streaming pile of failure. Dilbert: It's like fifteen drunken monkeys with a jigsaw puzzle." The Boss: How's your project coming along?" Dilbert: Fine.


