Bring To Read Comic Strips - Page 32

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322 Results for Bring To Read

View 311 - 320 results for bring to read comic strips. Discover the best "Bring To Read" comics from Dilbert.com.

Your Real Scheme

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Your Real Scheme - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, office, business, scheme, power, costs, mind, reader, psychology

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dilbert: and this method will reduce costs by thirty percent. ted: nice try, but i know your real scheme is to grab power. dilbert: you're not a good mind reader ted: and yet i knew you would say i can't read minds, explain that

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Tina Enters Coma

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Tina Enters Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, technology, write, body, language, read

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tina the tech writer tina: in simple terms, tell me how the technology works, so i can write about it. one hour later dilbert pointing to flow chart: and that's how it all...uh-oh. if i am reading your body language correctly, you're saying i could have shortened that. continued...

Mind Reading

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Mind Reading - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, judge, ruling, gavel, proof, thoughts, unfair, mind, reading

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court of stupidity judge with gavel: the court rules that dilbert should magically know what his boss wants at all times. dilbert: i'm not a mind-reader! judge: prove it! dilbert: how can i prove i can't read minds? judge: easy. tell me what i'm not thinking.

Mind Reader

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Mind Reader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, plan, sabotage, mind reader, success, apology

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dilbert: i don't think your plan will work. employee: pffft. of course you don't. you are trying to sabotage me because you are jealous of my success. dilbert: you read minds as well as you make plans. employee: apology accepted.

What Good Is Money

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What Good Is Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, income, soul, money, earn, rent, own

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dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.

No Time Before Next Meeting

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No Time Before Next Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, care, co-workers, hate, job, lesson, meeting, nonesence, procrastinate, reality, report, stupid, technical, technology, time

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dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.

Selling Private Data

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Selling Private Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, job, management, cloud, data, people, private, information, laugh, market, sell, email, friend

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dogbert: the only reason i took a job managing cloud data is so i could laugh at people's private information. dogbert: then i discovered a robust market for selling that kind of stuff, so it's a twofer. dilbert: we need to talk. dogbert: sure. just email your thoughts to a friend, and i'll probably read them.

Three Dogberts

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Three Dogberts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, Dogbert, marketing, plan, clone, singularity, event, book

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dogbert on desk with three dogberts behind him: i've got three dogberts working on your marketing plan, but even that isn't enough. i'd bump it up to five dogcarts, but then we risk creating a singularity event. boss: i don't get it. dogbert: read a book.

Carol Hoards

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Carol Hoards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, health, office supplies, copy paper, hoarding, shortage, coronavirus

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dilbert wearing face mask: we're running low on copier paper. carol wearing face mask: i know. i hoarded it all at my house when someone said we might have a shortage. dilbert: can you bring some of it back? carol: that would defeat the point of hoarding.

Read The Article

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Read The Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, article, feedback, time, waste, thoughts

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co-worker: can i get your thoughts on the article i emailed to you? dilbert: okay. my thoughts are that i don't want to waste my time reading any articles you send to me. co-worker: can you dive a bit deeper? dilbert: okay. i also don't like talking to you.