Brush Hand Comic Strips - Page 32
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Character
326 Results for Brush Hand
View 311 - 320 results for brush hand comic strips. Discover the best "Brush Hand" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday March 25,
2014
Tags #boredom, #conversation, #plantkiller, #data, #kill plants, #office plants
Transcript
Alice: Hey, plantkiller, do you have the ata I asked for? Coworker: Plantkiller? Who calls me that? Alice: Everyone does. Your stories are so boring that you kill all office plants within earshot. Give me a hand signal when you're done. Coworker: This reminds me of the time I took the stairs.
Sunday May 31,
2015
Tags #flirting, #dating, #negotiation, #rebuff, #rejection, #social media, #relationships, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Would you like to make out? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I take you on a date? Woman: No. Dilbert: Lunch? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I have your number so I can text you? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I be your Facebook friend? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I follow you on Twitter? Woman: Fine. But no retweeting. Dilbert: Can I favorite your tweets? Woman: Only if you wear a glove on your mouse hand.
Friday June 12,
2015
Wally's Slap App
Tags #app, #slap, #anger, #violence, #smart watch, #invention
Transcript
Wally: I created an app for our smart watch that makes the user's hand slap people. Boss: Who would want... Wally: Your eyes say I should pivot.
Thursday August 06,
2015
Teeth Brushing Accident
Tags #insult, #criticism, #presentation, #stupid, #mean
Transcript
Coworker: Are there any questions about my presentation? Alice: Yes. Did you brush your teeth too aggressively and accidentally stab yourself in the brain? Coworker: Can you be more specific? Alice: Frontal lobes?
Wednesday August 12,
2015
Tell Everyone You Are Writing A Novel
Tags #writer, #reputation, #writing, #novel, #peer pressure, #motivation, #frustration, #writers block
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm telling everyone I'm writing a novel. That way I can leverage the invisible hand of social influence to motivate me for the next year. Alice: Have you written anything yet? Dilbert: Stop badgering me!!!
Sunday September 25,
2016
Tags #mentor, #mentorship, #competition, #honesty, #truth
Transcript
Dilbert: I need some mentoring. Boss: This is awkward. On one hand, helping you would make me appear wise and generous. On the other hand, it would make you a more credible threat to take my job. I see you as more of an adversary than a subordinate. That's why I withhold vital information that you need to do your job. I've already said too much. Wally: Did you learn anything? Dilbert: Yes, unfortunately.
Tuesday December 19,
2017
Zimbu Tests The App
Tags #technology, #addiction, #stimulus, #animal testing, #social media
Transcript
Narrator: Zimbu The Monkey. Dilbert: We need to do animal testing on our new app. Do you mind taking a look? Zimbu: I'm getting a strong dopamine hit every time I click on it. Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Dilbert: May I have it back? Zimbu: Put that hand away before I bite it off.
Saturday June 09,
2018
Wally's Stealth Drone
Tags #deception, #deceit, #drone, #technology, #invention, #fake
Transcript
Wally: In my right hand is a standard drone. In my left hand is a drone using the cloaking technology I invented. Voices: Ooh! Wow! Wally: I'll demonstrate it flying as soon as I finish the noise cancellation. CEO: Employee of the year!
Sunday August 26,
2018
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #draft, #same day, #sloth, #tardiness
Transcript
The Boss: I told you a week ago that I needed your first draft by today. This is exactly why I say bad things about you behind your back! I need employees I can rely on! Your tardiness and sloth cannot be rewarded. Dilbert: I gave you the first draft the same day you asked. In fact, I think you're holding it in your hand right now. The Boss: I'll be back when I figure out how this is still your fault.
Saturday December 01,
2018
Workplace Bully
Tags #boss, #bully, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #threat, #work
Transcript
Boss: Cheryl, the other employees are complaining that you're a workplace bully. Cheryl: Hand over your wallet or else I'll tell your boss you tried to give me a shoulder rub. Carol: Did you talk to her? Boss: Don't ever ask me to do anything for your again.