Drink Coffee Comic Strips - Page 32

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

380 Results for Drink Coffee

View 311 - 320 results for drink coffee comic strips. Discover the best "Drink Coffee" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talking, #retirement, #planning, #drinking, #coffee, #pessimistic

View Transcript

Transcript

Retirement planning in a bad economy Wally says, "Retirement planning is all about timing." Wally says, "I'm planning to die from global warming on the same day I run out of money." Wally says, "That's one more advantage of being frail. I figure an hour without sunscreen ought to do the trick."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #criticism, #ridicule, #stupidity, #ignoring, #distracted, #work, #desk, #forgetting

View Transcript

Transcript

the Boss says, "Why didn't you get my input on the vendor selection?" Dilbert says, "I tried, but?" Dilbert says, "You're so easily distracted that for all practical purposes you're nothing but furniture with coffee breath." The Boss says, "Where were we?" Dilbert says, "You were praising me for my good attitude."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #stock tip, #ridicule, #criticism, #hair cut, #old fashioned, #doubt, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I have a great stock tip for you, Alice." Alice says, "And I should trust you because you're an expert on all things except your own ridiculous hair?" Man says, "I also know a lot about old cars." Alice says, "Shocker."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #pain, #work, #irresponsible, #chugging, #coffee, #suppressing, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Gaaa! I feel a sudden pang of caring about the quality of my work!" Glug glug glug glug Dilbert says, "Did you kill it?" Wally says, "I think so, but I'd better roll a donut in front of the cave."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #title, #meaningless, #proud, #mean, #cruel, #deflated, #orders, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says ,"Employees are so important to me that our head of human resources will get a C-level title." Dogbert says, "Edna will be our CPO, or Chief People officer." Dogbert says ,"Take a seat over there by the chief artificial coffee creamer officer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret, #research, #gmail, #email, #lying, #talking, #director, #coffee, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "The director of our top secret research group wants to borrow me for six months." Wally says, "During that time, you will not know where I am or what I'm working on." The Boss says, "I need to hear this from the director." Wally says, "I'll ask him to email you from his gmail account."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avoidance, #trickery, #randomness, #work, #procrastination, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, do you prefer that I spend the day planning, which doesn't look like work?" Wally says, "Or should I plunge into my project with aggressuve randomness?" Dilbert says, "He told you not to work?" Wally says, "He doesn't know it yet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #christmas, #presents, #giving, #nerdy, #Funny, #coffee, #bank, #bathrobe, #holiday

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Merry Christmas. Here?s a hundred bucks." Dogbert says, "And here's a hundred bucks for you." Dilbert says, "We could save another step by setting up an electronic transfer with an annual recurring option." Dogbert says, "Excellent." Dogbert says, "Or we could not give gifts." Dilbert says, "Hush your crazy talk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #buzzing of flies, #channel irrational impulse, #coffe machine broken, #confusion, #ignoring, #intern, #nervousness, #talking, #thirst for coffeee, #vp of engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok thinks, "It's our vice president of engineering." Asok says, "Hello. I am Asok the intern, may I tell you about an idea I have?" Wally says, "Vice presidents can't hear us, Asok. To them, our voices sound like the faint buzzing of flies." Wally says, "If you want to give him your idea you have to do it indirectly." Wally says, "Tell someone who knows someone, who know's someone else, who knows the vice president." Wally says, "Or do what I do and channel your irrational impulse to be useful into an unquenchable thirst for coffee." Asok says, "So...What are you helping me?" Wally says, "The coffee machine is broken."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drinking, #coffee, #suggestion, #mandatory, #rant, #yellign, #screaming, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Did you see my suggestions for your presentation?" Dilbert says, "Yes, I rejected them." The boss says, "They aren't optional." Dilbert says, "Then why do you call them suggestions?" The boss says, "Sometimes I call things the wrong names to improve morale." DIlbert says, "You should just say what you're thinking. I can handle the truth." The boss says, "FIne. Make all of the changes I want, you ignorant hump." The boss says, "And do it now while I mock you with sleep noises." The boss says, "Baaaa! Baaaa! Baaaa!" Dilbert says, "Maybe your first way was better." The boss says, "No one will ever love you!"