Managers Comic Strips - Page 32
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596 Results for Managers
View 311 - 320 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 09,
2019
Tags business, cell phone, managers & supervisors, message, office, squirrels
Transcript
the boss to dilbert: ...and then i need you to... notification sound from dilbert's phone. the boss: don't do it. don't check that message. dilbert: but it might be important. the boss: it isn't more important than listening to your boss. dilbert: i have no way of knowing that. dilbert yelling: look! there's a squirrel on the printer! the boss turns around: i don't see a squirrel. the boss: did you check your phone? dilbert: was i suppose to just sit here and watch you looking for squirrels?
Monday June 03,
2019
Touch Base With Carl
Tags boss, business, managers & supervisors, office, office workers
Transcript
the boss: can you reach out to carl and touch base? dilbert: can you restate that using normal words? the boss: i could, but then it would feel as if i'm not managing you.
Friday June 07,
2019
Website Suggestions
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, website, webpage
Transcript
the boss: our website doesn't look anything like the one you asked me to approve. the boss: were you showing me a fake webpage so you could ignore my suggestions? dilbert: all of this could have been avoided if you had told me you planned to look at it.
Tuesday June 11,
2019
Leadership And Guessing
Tags business, coffee, managers & supervisors, office
Transcript
alice to the boss: one option is to use the old method that has never once worked, but we think we know how to make it work next time. alice: the other option is to try something new that we can't be sure will work. alice: it's almost as if leadership is nothing but guessing. the boss drinking coffee: let's change the subject.
Wednesday June 12,
2019
Prove A Negative
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, accusations, negative
Transcript
ceo to dilbert: is this everything i need to know? dilbert: yes. ceo: how can you be sure there isn't something out there we don't know about? dlbert: are you asking me to prove a negative? ceo: it's more of an accusation than a question.
Thursday June 13,
2019
Why Are Other Companies Not Doing It
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, company, variables
Transcript
the boss to dilbert: if your idea is so good, why aren't other companies doing it? dilbert: because they are in completely different businesses with completely different variables and they don't have a genius like me working for them. the boss: what happens if we try your idea but we do it wrong? dilbert: that's called "business as usual."
Wednesday June 19,
2019
Did You Get My Email
Tags business, email, managers & supervisors, office, talking
Transcript
the boss: did you read my email? dilbert: yes. dilbert: are you aware that email is a substitute for talking in person? the boss thinking: i thought i heard something about that.
Thursday June 20,
2019
Employee Engagement
Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, office, time, engagement
Transcript
the boss: i'm assigning you to work on our employee engagement initiative. dilbert: does it matter that i think that project sounds like a complete waste of time? the boss: nah.
Saturday June 29,
2019
Drooling Incompetents
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, competent, incompetent
Transcript
wally at team meeting. wally: i've been asked to lead this project toward failure so my boss can convince our ceo to cancel it. wally: i'd like all of the competent people on the team to step aside, while the drooling incompetents who remain drive it into a ditch. office worker: how can we know who among us are the competent ones? wally: well, for starters, they don't ask that question.
Tuesday July 02,
2019
Why Not A Center Of Excellence
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, excellence
Transcript
ceo: maybe we should creat a "center of excellence." the boss: what exactly does that mean? ceo: i think it means whatever we want it to mean. the boss: then what good is it? ceo: let's not get lost in the weeds.


