Sound Dumb Comic Strips - Page 32

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332 Results for Sound Dumb

View 311 - 320 results for sound dumb comic strips. Discover the best "Sound Dumb" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Has A Vision For The Company

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Boss Has A Vision For The Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2018's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #office workers, #sarcasm, #listen

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Boss: And that's my vision for the company. Dilbert: All you did was list the projects we are already working on while making it sound like astrology. Boss: In my defense, I didn't think any of you were listening.

Ai With Bad Analogies

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Ai With Bad Analogies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #engineering, #questions, #robot, #technology, #humans, #rational

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Dilbert: My breakthrough in A.I. came when I stopped trying to duplicate human rational thought. Dogbert: You can't copy what doesn't exist. Dilbert: Right. So instead I coded it to spout analogies to sound human. Asok: Should I ask my boss for a raise? Robot: Trees don't ask for raises, so why should you?

How Long To Make Ai

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How Long To Make Ai  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #computers, #engineering, #intelligence, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology, #robots, #humans

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Boss: How long would it take you to create artificial intelligence that is as smart as humans? Dilbert: It shouldn't take me long to dumb-down a computer to human levels. Boss: What? Dilbert: It might take five minutes, tops.

Small Managers

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Small Managers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #computer software, #engineering, #frustration, #office workers, #sarcasm, #clients

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Boss: I told a customer we would make a small change to the software for them. Dilbert: There are no small software changes, only small managers. Boss: Dang it! Why does that sound so wise!

Old Sayings

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Old Sayings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #email, #insult, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #sayings

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Dilbert: I discovered I can insult our boss if I make it sound like an old saying. He thinks all old sayings are wise. Wally: Here he comes. Boss: Did you read my email? Dilbert: A man who sends email has nothing to say.

Birds Cause Hurricanes

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Birds Cause Hurricanes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #ceo, #research, #nonsense, #hurricans, #birds, #noted, #polar bears, #hate, #snow

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CEO: I don't know enough about climate change to sound smart when people talk about it. Boss: Try doing your own research. That's how I learned that hurricanes are caused by birds. CEO: Write that down for me. Boss: And did you know polar bear hate snow?

Wally Plans His Retirement

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Wally Plans His Retirement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #retirement, #profit

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wally: the product i'm developing will be unprofitable for the first none years, but revenue will surge in the tenth. the boss: didn't you tell me you plan to retire in nine years? wally: maybe. the boss: you will be happily retired before we find out if profits really do surge in year ten. the boss: that makes everything you say sound suspicious. wally: numbers don't lie. the boss: who came up with the numbers? wally: that's all the time we have for questions.

Never Ask About The Sigh

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Never Ask About The Sigh - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #relationships, #serial killer

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carol, asok and dilbert at a conference table. carol: sigh carol: sigh asok: what's wrong? dilbert distressed: gaaaa!!! never ask about the sigh! dilbert: it's a trap to make you listen to a distressing story full of woe. carol: my husband is a hunter and he wants me to learn how to skin and cook his kills. asok: that doesn't sound so bad. dilbert: wait for it. carol: he's a serial killer. dilbert: and there it is.

Dogbert Starts A Podcast

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Dogbert Starts A Podcast - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #podcast

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dogbert: i decided to start my own podcast. dogbert: i'm crafting my content to appeal to dumb people because that's the biggest market. dilbert: how will that make the world a better place? dogbert: based on your question, you'd enjoy my podcast.

Dilbert Hires A Narrator

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Dilbert Hires A Narrator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #coffee, #office, #office workers, #narrator

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dilbert: i'm not a good communicator, so i hired a narrator. cynthia: how will a narrator help? dogbert: cynthia was as dumb as she looked.