Stop Comic Strips - Page 32

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394 Results for Stop

View 311 - 320 results for stop comic strips. Discover the best "Stop" comics from Dilbert.com.

Carol And The Terrorist

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Carol And The Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #terrorist, #terrorism, #racist, #race, #muslim, #assume, #assumption, #accuse, #accusation

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Carol: I hear you're a terrorist sympathizer. Asok: What? No! I'm not even close. I don't want to hate you! Please stop radicalizing me! Carol: Sweating, agitated, he looks suspicious to me. Asok: Who are you talking to???!

Soulless Container Of Knowledge

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Soulless Container Of Knowledge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robots, #artificial intelligence, #emotions, #humanity, #feelings

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Robot: Wally asked me to scan his brain and download his thoughts so I can attend meetings on his behalf. Boss: But all you are is a soulless container of knowledge. Robot: That's all Wally is, too. Boss: Stop trying to alter my worldview. Robot: Well, look who doesn't like being programmed.

Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief

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Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #identity theft, #internet, #racism, #reputation, #guest artist, #joel friday, #technology

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Boss: They guy who stole my identity just sent me an email. He says, "Stop making racist comments on the internet. You're ruining my reputation." Ha! Take that! Carol: You always said it would pay off someday.

Checking The Time

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Checking The Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bored, #boredom, #dying, #dead

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Boss: Stop checking the time when I talk to you! Dilbert: I wasn't checking the time. I was checking my pulse to see if I'm dying from boredom. Uh-oh. Boss: I hope this is a coincidence.

Your Idea Has Been Tried

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Your Idea Has Been Tried - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #trying, #trial and error, #criticism

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Boss: Ideas like yours have been tried in the past and always failed! Dilbert: Have you ever been on an airplane? Those didn't work on the first few tries either. And then we have the entire history of science. Boss: Stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows

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Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #secret, #gratitude

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Dilbert: Ted knows that I know something about his project. Now he won't stop hounding me. I don't know what to do. Wally: Try dousing him with coffee. Dilbert: Your advice is terrible. Wally: You're coming off as ungrateful.

Wally The Thought Leader

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Wally The Thought Leader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #title, #leadership, #work ethic, #laziness, #strategy, #ruse

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Man: Wally, can you help me... Wally: Whoa! Stop right there. I'm a thought leader, not some wage slave. Man: What do thought leaders do? Wally: You're watching it.

Wally Gets Referral Money

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Wally Gets Referral Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus, #con, #deception, #hiring, #money, #referral, #scheme, #guest artist, #jake tapper

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Wally: Stop! Why are you here? Man: I have an interview for a job as an engineer. Wally: My name is Wally. Tell Human Resources I referred you ad I'll get a $1,000 bonus. Boss: Have you noticed that all of our new hires were referred by the same person? Catbert: Sounds like we found our Employee Of The Year!

Political Opinions Only Make It Worse

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Political Opinions Only Make It Worse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #speaking, #conversation, #Politics

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Man: Did you watch any of the debates? Dilbert: Stop right there. I'm barely clinging to the illusion that you're competent at your job. Don't talk about politics or it will only get worse. Man: Did you know China caused climate change by hogging the sun? Dilbert: And there it is.

Wally's Illusion Of Inefficiency

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Wally's Illusion Of Inefficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #scam, #efficience, #culture

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Boss: I've noticed you don't work as much as your co-workers. That's an illusion caused by the combination of my efficiency and my modesty. Boss: So... you're getting your work done? Wally: Stop poisoning our culture with your distrust.