Three Readers Comic Strips - Page 32
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352 Results for Three Readers
View 311 - 320 results for three readers comic strips. Discover the best "Three Readers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 16,
2016
Employee Weight Loss Contest
Tags #obesity, #health, #weight loss, #weight, #dieting, #cheating, #competition, #medical
Transcript
CEO: Next month is employee health awareness month, so we decided to have a weight-loss competition. We'll start on the first of the month, and the winner gets a week of paid vacation. Wally: When he thinks back on this, he'll realize he shouldn't have given us three weeks to bulk up before the first weigh-in.
Thursday December 29,
2016
Oxygen Not In The Budget
Tags #space flight, #astronaut, #oxygen, #breathing, #leadership, #obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: I'm happy to announce that we launched our company's spaceship to Mars. We only had enough in the budget to give them oxygen for three-quarters of the trip. So I told them to breathe smarter, not harder. It's called leadership.
Monday January 02,
2017
Programming Environment
Tags #productivity, #programmer, #engineer, #developer, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: Did you finish writing the software? Dilbert: No. I spent the last three days setting up my programming environment. Boss: So... you've done... nothing? Dilbert: Nothing you'd understand.
Tuesday January 17,
2017
Elbonians Jumping Off Roof
Sunday May 07,
2017
Tags #avoiding, #avoidance, #offense
Transcript
Tina; Are you going to the department meeting? Dilbert: Yes, as soon as I plan my route. I have seven co-workers who I need to avoid on the way. Three are nonstop talkers. The other four ask me for something every time I see them. I've mapped their likely locations and I'm working out an avoidance path. Yes, I think I can do it. Tina: Is that my name on your list of employees to avoid? Dilbert: I didn't say it was a perfect system.
Sunday July 02,
2017
Tags #cpr, #bragging, #braggart, #ego, #one-up, #storytelling, #exaggeration
Transcript
Dilbert: My CPR instructor says I was one of his best students. Topper: That's nothing. I'm so good at CPR that my practice dummy came to life. He grew limbs and got married to a crash test dummy. They had three mannequins together and they live in the suburbs. But the marriage didn't last because the CPR dummy could not forget the taste of my lips. I blame myself for being irresistible. Why do all of my conversations end with me sitting alone?
Monday June 19,
2017
Dilbert's Project Is In Chaos
Tags #accusation, #hearsay, #conjecture, #gullible
Transcript
Man: I hear Dilbert's project is in total chaos. Boss: That has to be true because I heard it from three other people. Man: And that's why I told three other people.
Saturday August 19,
2017
Estimate Of Timeline
Tags #deception, #deadline, #goals, #ultimatum
Transcript
Boss: How fast can you fix the bug? Dilbert: I won't know until I dig in. Boss: Give me a random guess and I promise I won't hold you to it. Dilbert: Okay, three days. Boss: Now write that into your goals and get it done in three days or else. Dilbert: Why do I keep falling for that?!!!
Saturday October 28,
2017
Robot Is Not A Droid
Saturday November 04,
2017
Boss Ends Neural Interface
Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #amnesia, #forgetting, #memory loss
Transcript
Dilbert: We removed the neural interface to your brain. Do you remember anything we made you do? Boss: No, not a thing. Dilbert: That's probably for the best. Boss: Did I break any laws? Alice: Not according to the cop you dated for three days.