Too Talk Comic Strips - Page 32

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341 Results for Too Talk

View 311 - 320 results for too talk comic strips. Discover the best "Too Talk" comics from Dilbert.com.

No Texting At Work

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No Texting At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #politeness, #etiquette, #company policy, #communication, #distraction, #social media, #conversation, #interaction, #technology

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Dilbert: The company's new politeness policy forbids you from texting while I am trying to talk to you. Alice: I'm not using a texting app. I'm replying to people on social media. Dilbert: You're missing the point. Alice: When did my happiness stop being the point?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #listening, #small talk

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Boss: How's work? Dilbert: Well, since you asked... it's like being trapped in a garbage compactor and no one can hear me scream. All my hopes and dreams have died, along with my immune system and my dignity. The only thing keeping me alive is that food tastes good. I tried to escape into my imagination, but I learned I don't have one. My life has no meaning. Each second is a slow-motion ordeal. Why do I get the feeling you weren't listening to any of that? Boss:My day was good too.

Normals Are Dispensible

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Normals Are Dispensible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #superiority, #microchip, #nanotechnology, #brain, #thinking, #superhuman

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Boss: I'm putting Randy on your project. He has a microchip embedded in his brain. So ignore whatever your inferior brain tells you to do and just listen to Randy. Dilbert: Doesn't that make me dispensable? Boss: We'll talk about Phase 2 later.

Wally Has A Doctor's Note

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Wally Has A Doctor's Note  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #sleep, #boredom, #meeting, #laziness, #narcolepsy, #health, #business

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Wally: Here's a doctor's note saying I have a chronic case of meeting narcolepsy. Boss: Sit down. We need to talk about this. Wally: ZZZZZZ.

75 Slides Too Long

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75 Slides Too Long  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #length, #brevity, #powerpoint

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Asok: I have 75 slides to discuss in ten minutes. Save your questions to the end. CEO: Sit down and never talk to me again as long as you live. Dilbert: How'd the CEO presentation go? Asok: It was 75 slides too long.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #certification, #listening, #corporations, #business

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Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Catbert: Don't bother me. I'm studying for a human resources certification. I already have my certifications for sadism and maniacal laughing. And, obviously, I have the basic HR certification for recreational downsizing. If you don't have that one, you can't even get a job in HR. But I need one more certification to make the big bucks. Now run along while I practice my joyless scowling. Dilbert: You talk a lot about yourself. Catbert: I prefer to think of myself as a non-listener.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #accomplishment, #narcissist, #narcissism, #review, #firing, #excuse

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Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

Wally Is Late For Meetings

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Wally Is Late For Meetings  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #tardy, #tardiness, #late, #time

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Boss: I'm getting a lot of complaints about you being late for meetings. Wally: They never talk about anything important in the first ten minutes. Boss: They're usually talking about you being late. Wally: Why would I need to be there for that?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hazmat suit, #harrass, #wear suit, #harrasment, #offcie, #prevention, #dressed up, #human resources, #inappropriate delivery, #business

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The Boss: Dilbert, I need you to wear this harazzmat suit when you meet with Tina. Tina will also be wearing a harazmatt suit. The suits will prevent you from trying to harass each other. You won't be able to speak directly. A radio inside the suit will transmit your words to our human resources department. Human resources will scrub your sentences of any inappropriate content before delivery. Dilbert: Doyon wear a harrazzmat suit when you talk to Tina privately? The Boss: No, but she wears three of them.

Pill For Boss Conversations

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Pill For Boss Conversations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #mental health, #mental illness, #crazy, #managers, #sanity, #insane

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Boss: Catbert thinks I'm causing mental problems in my employees. That's crazy, right? Carol: Hold that thought. My doctor prescribed pills for when I have to talk to you.