Search Results for "prison talk"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Longest Date Ever

Thank you for voting.
Longest Date Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #dating, #relationships, #Women, #Men, #attraction, #record, #conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My date lasted 53 minutes. Dogbert: That's your longest yet. Was she trapped in any way, such as under rubble? Dilbert: Nope! Dogbert: Wow. How'd you do it? Dilbert: I didn't talk for the first 49 minutes.

Dilbert Is Antisocial

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Is Antisocial - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #antisocial, #misanthropy, #introvert, #communication, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: People are complaining that you're antisocial. Dilbert: I only dislike the people I get to know. Catbert: Then why do you get to know them? Dilbert: It happens by accident when they talk.

Political Opinions Only Make It Worse

Thank you for voting.
Political Opinions Only Make It Worse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2016's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #speaking, #conversation, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Did you watch any of the debates? Dilbert: Stop right there. I'm barely clinging to the illusion that you're competent at your job. Don't talk about politics or it will only get worse. Man: Did you know China caused climate change by hogging the sun? Dilbert: And there it is.

Presidential Role Model

Thank you for voting.
Presidential Role Model - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #role model, #example, #election, #candidate, #logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need a president who can be a good role model for my kids. Dilbert: That will come in handy if your kids want to raise your taxes or veto a transportation bill. Boss: Why do I talk to you? Dilbert: I assume you do it to gain wisdom.

Biggest Risk To Happiness

Thank you for voting.
Biggest Risk To Happiness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #Advice, #complaining, #conversation, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: The biggest risk to your happiness involves listening to other people. When they aren't trying to make you work, they're complaining. Asok: I hate that. Wally: Shhh. Don't talk.

Wally Waits For People

Thank you for voting.
Wally Waits For People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #responsibility, #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You accomplished nothing this month. Wally: I'm waiting for people to get back to me. I believe it is your job to make sure those other people do their jobs. Boss: I guess I could talk to them. Wally: I'll wait for you to get back to me.

Messages For The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Messages For The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #communication, #internet, #modernity, #attention, #distraction, #excuses, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why didn't you talk to me before making this decision? Dilbert: I left you a voicemail, an email, and a text message. I also messaged you on Skype, Slack, WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook. Boss: Did you try leaving a note on my chair? Dilbert: It's stuck to your buttocks.

Electric Car Project

Thank you for voting.
Electric Car Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #manager, #labor, #time, #time management, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Welcome to the first meeting of our project to design an electric car. We've never tried to build an electric car, but how hard could it be? Dilbert: It's very hard. Boss: It doesn't feel that way. My part is mostly talk.

Men Who Do The Driving

Thank you for voting.
Men Who Do The Driving - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #dating, #driving, #Men, #conversation, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I like a man who always offers to do the driving on dates? Dilbert: Like Uber? Woman: But less expensive, and no waiting. Dilbert; So you're saying I'm better than Uber? Woman: You would be if you didn't talk.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bureaucracy, #paperwork, #form, #request, #convoluted

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need a capital allocation form. Man: Do you have a form to request that form? Dilbert; I need a form to get a form? Man: That's how we keep track of the forms. Dilbert: Okay, give me a form to request a form. Man: Those are online. Dilbert: Where online? Man: I don't know. I only do paper forms. Dilbert: Who can I ask? Man: Don't drag me into this. Dilbert: I demand to talk to your boss. Man: I hope you brought a boss request form.