Ask Comic Strips - Page 33
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413 Results for Ask
View 321 - 330 results for ask comic strips. Discover the best "Ask" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 01,
2015
Solving Problems In Interviews
Tags interview, trick, thinking, problem
Transcript
Job Interview. Boss: Tell me your process for solving this sort of problem. Man: I would ignore it for a week and likely discover that it wasn't important in the first place. If it still matters after a week, I would hold fake job interviews and ask people how to solve it. Boss: Apparently, that doesn't work.
Monday October 12,
2015
Asok Asks How Much Is Luck
Tags nepotism, luck, success, obliviousness, rich people, privilege
Transcript
Asok: May I ask some questions about your journey to success? Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Asok: I am trying to ascertain what percentage of a person's success is pure luck. For example, who hired you for your first real job? Boss: My dad. But in my defense, I interview well.
Sunday December 20,
2015
Tags jargon, techspeak, nonsense, bluff, deception, conversation, language
Transcript
Boss: Wally, did you Uberize the slide deck? Wally: I harmonized it in the cloud. Boss: Are we ready for a trans-domain kick-off? Wally: I put a disruptive mesh network in the microservices of the Internet of things. Boss: Will that be good enough to "ask the fridge" or do I need to start disintermediating? Wally: It depends on if we have enough bandwidth to growth-hack the analytics. Boss: I just hope our clicks-and-mortar strategy staircases. Dilbert: I'm almost certain that was nonsense. Wally: Sometimes it's about the journey.
Thursday December 24,
2015
Carl Asks What
Saturday December 26,
2015
Boss Asks Alice To Mentor At School
Tags gender, misogyny, Women, feminist, mentor, tutor, assumption, feminism
Transcript
Boss: My kid's school is looking for someone to mentor girls interested in stem careers. Alice: Are you asking me to do that because I'm a woman? Would you ask a man to do that? Boss: This went bad fast. Alice: Tell Wally to do it. He's not busy.
Thursday January 07,
2016
Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong
Tags idea, reality, accuracy, creative accounting, numbers, math, error, excel, spreadsheet, education
Transcript
Alice: What are the odds that you made this complicated spreadsheet without any critical errors? Boss: Does it matter, as long as it gives me the answer I want? Alice: It should. Boss: But ask yourself if it does.
Monday January 11,
2016
How Work Is Going
Tags work, existence, happiness, fulfillment, frustration, job, business, psychology
Transcript
Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Are you being sarcastic? You know my life is an endless string of useless tasks orchestrated by idiots. Why do you even ask? Dogbert: I like hearing it? Dilbert: Your honesty is not refreshing.
Sunday February 07,
2016
Tags demands, bosses, unrealistic, frustration, outburst, catch-22, travel, air travel
Transcript
Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.
Tuesday February 09,
2016
Dilbert Becomes Quasimodo
Tags hunchback, posture, slouch, attitude, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: This job is turning me into Quasimodo. Tina: Is it mostly a posture thing, or do you have some of the Quasi's attitude as well? Dilbert; What's wrong with my posture? Tina: I could ask you what's wrong with his attitude.
Tuesday February 16,
2016
Dilbert Will Not Babysit
Tags psychology, trick, deception, adoption, babysitter, babysitting
Transcript
Carol: Uh-oh. My babysitter canceled for tonight. Dilbert: Too bad. Carol: Hey, I have an idea. Do you like kids? Dilbert: I will not watch your kids tonight. Carol: I was going to ask you to adopt them. Dilbert: Absolutely not. The best I can do is watch them tonight.


