Long Debate Comic Strips - Page 33

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384 Results for Long Debate

View 321 - 330 results for long debate comic strips. Discover the best "Long Debate" comics from Dilbert.com.

The Government Is Listening

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The Government Is Listening - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #fbi, #privacy, #technology, #bug, #spying, #cell phone, #iphone, #apple

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Boss: The government asked me for an update on your project. Dilbert: I'll talk into your phone. They listen to you all day long. Boss: This is unsettling. Dilbert: Everything is on schedule!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goals, #accomplishment, #consciousness, #death, #achievement, #medical

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Dilbert: Do you have any long-term goals? Wally: Just death. Dilbert: Death isn't a goal. Wally: It's the best kind. This way, I can go out as a winner. With my last breath, I plan to do a fist pump and yell, "I did it!" What's your long-term plan? Dilbert: I plan to use brain imaging technology to map my mind. Then I'll create a digital copy of myself to live forever in a software simulation. Unless I already did. Wally: Give yourself a fist pump, just in case.

Asok Is An Introvert

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Asok Is An Introvert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #introversion, #introvert, #loneliness, #social situation

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Dilbert: Do you have plans for the weekend? Asok: No, I"m an introvert. I'll probably experience despair and loneliness while being jealous of people who have substance abuse problems. Dilbert: Yeah, me too. Asok: This conversation is dragging on too long.

The Long Email

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The Long Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #laziness, #email, #tldr

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Boss: You never got back to me with your answer. Dilbert: Yes, I did. I spent three hours writing an email that tells you all you need to know. Boss: What did it say?

Tell Me What Was In The Email

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Tell Me What Was In The Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #laziness, #attention, #detail, #tldr

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Boss: I don't have time to read your long email. Tell me what it said. Dilbert: I wrote a long email because a summary would be dangerously misleading. Boss: I'll be the judge of that. Dilbert: How?!!!

Why Didn't You Tell Me Sooner

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Why Didn't You Tell Me Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paradox, #debate, #arguing

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Alice: Why didn't you tell me about this sooner? Dilbert: That's a fool's game because Zeno's Paradox says there will always be a time sooner than the one I pick. Alice's Paradox says that no matter how many criticisms you explain away, there are always plenty more.

Ceo Sits On His Wallet

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Ceo Sits On His Wallet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #perspective, #suffering, #competition

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CEO: I hate to complain, but it hurts when I sit on my wallet for too long. Asok: I risked an honor killing to pay my rent. CEO: This is why I hate to complain. Asok: I know a hundred ways to eat a spider.

Estimating Finish Times

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Estimating Finish Times - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #website, #internet, #developer, #code, #coding, #deadline, #time, #deception, #lying, #technology

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Boss: I'm having trouble managing our web developer because I don't know how long things are supposed to take. Does it really take nine months to change the font on the home page? Developer: How much do I owe you? Dilbert: Tell him my project normally takes two years.

Different Time Estimates

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Different Time Estimates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quote, #estimate, #time, #deadline, #length, #pessimism

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Boss: I'm getting wildly different estimates for how long it will take to write the software. Dilbert: Based on my experience, I say take the longest estimate and multiply it by three. Boss: Is experience exactly the same as pessimism? Dilbert: Experience is much worse.

Who's Turn To Lie

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Who's Turn To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuse, #excuses, #deadline, #lying

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Boss: Our CEO stopped by to see how long before we finish the new software. Dilbert: Whose turn is it to lie to him? Boss: I blamed Elbonian hackers last week. Dilbert: You're using all the good ones!