Lunch Hour Comic Strips - Page 33

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

355 Results for Lunch Hour

View 321 - 330 results for lunch hour comic strips. Discover the best "Lunch Hour" comics from Dilbert.com.

Alice Should Network With Men

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Should Network With Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #catch-22, #sexism, #Women, #sexist, #attraction, #success, #glass ceiling

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Alice, the best way to break the glass ceiling is to do more networking with male co-workers. Alice: Can we talk about this over lunch? CEO: Wow. You are so into me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #robot, #replacement, #doctor, #medicine, #obsolete, #job, #diagnose, #necessity, #technology, #invention, #business, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: IBM's Watson supercomputer has diagnosed your symptoms. The computer just ordered the meds you need. They will be delivered in an hour by drone. Dilbert: Looks like your job as a doctor is becoming obsolete. Doctor: Ha ha! No. You still need a doctor and a nurse to make the system work. For example, the computer can't read its own screen and speak those words to patients. Dilbert: Actually, it can. Doctor: But the computer doesn't have a nurse. Dilbert: What does the nurse do? Nurse: I stab him if he tries to do more than read the screen.

Alice's List

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice's List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #society, #murder, #violence, #law, #enemy, #revenge, #apocalypse

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Looks like I'll be adding this guy to my list. Dilbert: List? Alice: I keep a list of who to visit first when society breaks down and there is no rule of law. Dilbert: To build alliances? Alice: That's the sort of optimism that gets you killed in the first hour.

Forgetting Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Forgetting Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appointment, #absent mindedness, #forgetting, #therapy, #irony, #psychology, #psychiatry

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you ever have anxiety because you feel like you're supposed to be in a meeting that you forgot? Alice: You should see a doctor about that. Dilbert: I already made... uh-oh. Alice: Was the appointment for today? Dilbert: An hour ago.

Ted's Unicorn Startup

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted's Unicorn Startup - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #failure, #gloating, #start-up

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Too bad your overhauled unicorn start-up failed, Ted. Last week you were a billionaire, and today you're doing a two-hour commute to work in a box. Ted: What can I do to make this stop? Dilbert: Earn a billion dollars.

Doubling Percieved Lifespan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Doubling Percieved Lifespan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #time, #boredom, #sarcasm, #lifespan, #life, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Researchers discovered a way to double the perceived length of a human's life. It's something called "meetings." Boss: Can we start now? Dilbert: I though we were already an hour into it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demands, #bosses, #unrealistic, #frustration, #outburst, #catch-22, #travel, #air travel

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #learning, #education, #tutorial, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I love living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet. I'll just hop over to YouTube and learn how to use my new app. Perfect! I can choose from over a hundred different tutorials! It will only take me an hour or so to figure out which one refers to my version of the software. Narrator: One hour later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! These videos are poorly labeled! Narrator: Two hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This guy talks too slowly! Get to the point! Narrator: Three hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why are my menu options different from the tutorial? I hate living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet.

Wally Comes In Early

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Comes In Early - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #schedule, #hours, #work, #trick, #deception, #leaving early

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Can I come in an hour early tomorrow and leave early? Boss: Yeah, okay. Wally: How about five hours early? Boss: Um... sure. Wally: Let's say eight hours early and you won't even see me.

Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fair, #comfort, #flying, #money, #budget, #cost, #selfish

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The flight to Elbonia is seventeen hours. Can I fly business class? Boss: No, because your pain will be temporary, but I won't get my bonus if I go over budget. Try being a team player for once. Dilbert: I didn't know Satan had a team.