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Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.
Tina: How reliable are your ten-year financial projections? Dilbert: They are as reliable as all other ten-year financial predictions. Tina: Okay, good. Dilbert: Why do I feel guilty every time I talk at work?
the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year. the boss: does anyone have a suggestion? dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise? the boss: i would think so, yes. dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited? the boss: yes, of course. dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources? the boss: let's just forget i brought it up. dilbert: i nominate myself.