Catbert Comic Strips - Page 33

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

655 Results for Catbert

View 321 - 330 results for Catbert comic strips. Discover the best "Catbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, I've received some complaints that you have been bonking the heads of marketing people on tables." "Where else should I bonk their heads? Tables are the best places!!!" "I don't think I'm getting through." "The chair is way too soft!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dilbert, meet your new coworker, Phil O'Dendron." "Phil is a potted plant. He'll sit in your cubicle all day while you try to work." "Does it talk?" "He has three stories that he repeats in an infinite loop." "He'll begin with his reasons for why you should use his tax guy." "Then he'll do a recap of recent reality TV shows." "And last but not least, 'The way we did it at my last job.'" sob "How do you plan to cut expenses?" "Well, performance bonuses are under control."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, we've been monitoring your Internet usage." "You've been running a side business on eBay, selling our office supplies." "Well, I guess empowerment turned out to be a bunch of blah, blah, blah."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I've documented all of your disciplinary issues in your personnel file." "You have violations for every letter of the alphabet except Z. For some reason you missed that one." Zzzzzz

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I'm in trouble. Do we have a witness protection program for office snitches? "I have the perfect hiding place for employees." "I'm gonna go eat some asparagus. Try to blend in."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I need to blame someone for the failure of Project Alpha. "Use the plunger of blame. It's the latest technology for randomly distributing blame." "Please tell me that someone is patting me on the back right now." BLAME

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Our employee onboarding process will get you all mainstreamed in no time at all." "This will be your cubicle, if we can find another place to store this junk." "You'll get a phone and a computer if the budget ever gets approved." "This is Alice. She will be your mentor." "I don't have time to babysit! I'm buried in work!" "I do not like you. I...do...not...like you!!!" "Stand in the hallway and read these binders. If you learn anything, forget it, because knowledge isn't rewarded here." "Try giving up hope. It turns the bad feeling into emptiness."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Every absence counts as one 'occurrence' whether it is one day or more." "I just got a headache. I'll see you in a year. Or as I like to call it, one occurrence." "If something is worth having, it's worth abusing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"We don't pay enough to attract qualified employees." "No problem. I'll hire unqualified people with good attitudes and train them." "Dilbert, when you get a second, train this guy." "Yay!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Is it true that you allowed a vampire to run the blood drive?" "Yes, and it takes a big man to admit he's wrong." "You admit you were wrong?" "I decided to lose weight."