Buy Whatever Comic Strips - Page 33

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

373 Results for Buy Whatever

View 321 - 330 results for buy whatever comic strips. Discover the best "Buy Whatever" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time, #freedom, #free will, #schedule, #work load, #stress, #free time, #breaks, #lunch

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Schedule your training during your lunch hours so it doesn't impact your projects. Dilbert: But... my lunch hour is the only freedom I experience in a typical day. The rest of my time is either scheduled to the minute or driven by whatever crisis is happening. Please don't take my lunch hour and reduce me to nothing but a prisoner in a digital chain gang. I'm barely clinging to my illusion of free will as it is. This could push me over the edge. If you take away my one hour of freedom in the day, I might as well be a robot. Boss: Relax. This is temporary. Dilbert: For how long? Boss: Until I can replace you with a robot.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coworkers, #workspace, #noise, #cubicle, #open floorplan, #etiquette, #fingernails, #toenails

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish the slide deck? Alice: I tried, but it was impossible. Some idiot in a nearby cubicle was clipping his nails. It was like torture. Clip, clip, clip, clip, clip. I couldn't think with that noise polluting the office air. I thought it ended, but then I heard some shoes and socks come off. It was my worst nightmare. Boss: Okay, whatever. Wally, did you finish your tasks? Wally: I tried, but then I notice that my nails were uneven.

Fit Bit Monitoring

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fit Bit Monitoring - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mothers, #mom, #surveillance, #spying, #nosy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilmom: This is your mom. I've been monitoring your Fitbit and... whatever you're doing, cut it out. Dilbert: It was disturbing on many levels. Dogbert: "Mom Drone" behind you.

Brittle Phone Design

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brittle Phone Design - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #big business, #fragile, #iphone, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We made our new phone extra-brittle and gave it a sleek, but slippery case. Consumers will be forced to choose between an ugly protective cover or replacing the phone three times a year. Dilbert: Who would buy such a thing? Boss: We also made it addictive.

Boss Makes Dilbert Get Buy In

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Makes Dilbert Get Buy In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #purpose, #use, #useful, #threat

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'll approve this if you get buy-in from the rest of the department. Dilbert: What value are you adding to that scenario? Boss: I'm not firing you. Dilbert: In that case, keep up the good work.

Alice Gives Approval

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Gives Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deal, #support, #negotiations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to get everyone's buy-in on this. Alice: I'll agree to your stupid idea if you support my great idea later. Dilbert: Deal. Alice: Should I read it? Dilbert: I don't see why.

Wally Gives Approval

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Gives Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #signature, #ignorance, #reading, #fine print

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on this. Wally: Do I have to read it? Dilbert: No. Wally: That's the sort of idea I can get behind.

Asok Approves

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Approves - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #desperate, #desperation, #intern, #subordinate, #value, #importance

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I hear you need everyone's buy-in to proceed with your project. Dilbert: Everyone except you. No one cares what interns think. Asok: May I please approve it so I feel alive? Dilbert: Well... okay. But you owe me one.

Tina Gives Buy In

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Gives Buy In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiation, #money, #price, #cost, #value

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on my project. Tina: You can have my buy-in for $25. Dilbert: Ted only charged me $15. Tina: It isn't my fault that Ted is a bad negotiator.

Offending The Janitor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Offending The Janitor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #politically correct, #offensive, #language, #misunderstanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, I have to fire you because you said something that offended the janitor. Ted: What did I say?! Boss: I don't know. The janitor has a thick accent and he's terrible at charades. Elbonian 1: Did you take care of the buy who keeps putting banana peels in the recycling? Elbonian 2: He won't do it again.