Management Secrets Comic Strips - Page 33

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368 Results for Management Secrets

View 321 - 330 results for management secrets comic strips. Discover the best "Management Secrets" comics from Dilbert.com.

Do Not Talk To Ted

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Do Not Talk To Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #deception

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Boss: Don't talk to Ted until I have time to tell him I cut his project. Dilbert: When will that be? Boss: I don't know. My European vacation starts tomorrow. Ted: Do you have ten seconds to talk? Dilbert: Check back in fifteen days.

Ted Wonders If Boss Said Something

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Ted Wonders If Boss Said Something - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #panic, #worry

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Ted: I saw you talking to my boss. Did he say anything about my project? Dilbert: Um... Ted: Your hesitant response tells me you know something and he asked you not to tell me. Dilbert: Um... Ted: Is something terrible going to happen to me? Dilbert: Um...

Boss Figures Out A System

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Boss Figures Out A System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #managing, #problems, #work, #workload, #solution, #problem-solving

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Dilbert: I'm bored. Boss: Here's some more work. Alice: I'm overwhelmed with work. Boss: Here's some more work. Boss: Managing was hard until I figured out a system.

Managing Your Boss

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Managing Your Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #accountability, #blame, #time, #time management

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Boss: Your project is three weeks behind schedule. Dilbert: That's the exact amount of time I was waiting for you to answer my questions. Boss: You need to manage me better. Dilbert: Okay, you're fired.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #punctuality, #late, #excuses, #traffic, #sleep, #time management, #health

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Tina: Sorry I'm late. Traffic was terrible. Dilbert: Isn't the traffic from your house always terrible at this time of day? Tina: Exactly! That's why I'm late every day. Dilbert: Do you see any way you could fix that? Tina: I can't control the traffic. Dilbert: You could leave earlier. Tina: Then I wouldn't get enough sleep. Dilbert; You could go to bed earlier. Tina: Then I wouldn't have time to watch Netflix until two in the morning. Do you want me to hate my life? Dilbert: I didn't until now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time, #time management

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Dilbert: You asked for a breakdown of what I did this month. I wasted 25 percent of my time in useless meetings. I spent 33 percent of my time listening to co-workers complain about other co-workers. I used 11 percent to resend files I already sent. 14 percent went to dealing with a rumor you started by accident. 16 percent went toward working on the wrong things because you communicate poorly. Boss: What did you do with the 1 percent that was left? Dilbert: You just experienced it.

Electric Car Project

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Electric Car Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #labor, #time, #time management, #obliviousness

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Boss: Welcome to the first meeting of our project to design an electric car. We've never tried to build an electric car, but how hard could it be? Dilbert: It's very hard. Boss: It doesn't feel that way. My part is mostly talk.

Blame Rolls Downhill

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Blame Rolls Downhill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #responsibility, #management

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Boss: Our CEO blamed the Sales department for our low revenue. Sales blamed Marketing and Marketing blamed Engineering. Guess why I'm here. Dilbert: To shield me from unfair accusations?

Punishment By Talking

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Punishment By Talking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #time, #time management, #managers, #perspective

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Boss: Why is your project taking so long? Dilbert; It isn't. It only seems like a long time to you because you don't know how to do anything. Boss: I know how to punish you for being late. Dilbert: Does it involve talking to me while I'm trying to work?

Family Of Squirrels In A Tire

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Family Of Squirrels In A Tire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition, #management, #managers, #obliviousness, #direction

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Boss: Why can't we innovate as quickly as our competition? Dilbert: Maybe it's because our management is like a family of squirrels that lives inside an old tree. Boss: Can you be more specific? Dilbert: It's a Goodyear tire with five grey squirrels.