Might Spark Comic Strips - Page 33

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377 Results for Might Spark

View 321 - 330 results for might spark comic strips. Discover the best "Might Spark" comics from Dilbert.com.

Don't Want To Set A Precedent

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Don't Want To Set A Precedent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #overwork, #work ethic, #exhaustion

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Dilbert: Do you mind if I only work sixty hours this week? I need some rest. Boss: I don't want to set a precedent that your health matters. That's a slippery slope. Dilbert: I might die from sleep deprivation. Boss: Don't ask me to validate your selfishness.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #sales, #price, #prices, #bidding, #bid, #blackmail, #business

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Dilbert: This is not the deal we agreed on. Man: I forgot a few things on the first estimate, but you need them. Dilbert: I only picked you because you had the lowest price. Man: Yes, but not the vendor selection is done and it would be too much trouble for you to start over. It might even damage your career because you delayed the project. You could go to the second-highest bidder, but those guys would do the same thing to you. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I have no choice! This is blackmail, not commerce! Man: We call it "sales." I'll need all the cash in your wallet, too.

Four Hour Meeting

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Four Hour Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #decision, #decisions, #meeting, #meetings, #productivity, #time, #time management, #business

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Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.

Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack

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Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #hacker, #hacking, #cyber attack, #government secret, #advancement, #app

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Boss: I'm loaning you to the government to help stop the worst cyber attack our country has seen. Dilbert: I wrote an app for that. Okay... done. Are we good? G-Man: It's a gray area. I might need to kill you and steal the app.

Wally Gets Nano Robot Injection

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Wally Gets Nano Robot Injection - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #nanorobot, #nanobot, #health, #motivation, #work ethic

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Catbert: For our employee wellness program we will inject nanorobots into your bloodstream to keep you free of disease. The nanorobots will also rewire your brain to make you a more effective worker. You might even feel motivated. Wally: Those robots are going to be disappointed.

How It Feels To Never Accomplish

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How It Feels To Never Accomplish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #perspective, #happiness, #satisfaction, #psychology

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Dilbert: What's it like to never feel the satisfaction of a job well done? Wally: It's even better than you'd think! Dilbert: We might not be on the same page here. Wally: I hope your page feels as good as mine.

Godwin's Law Is One Jerk

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Godwin's Law Is One Jerk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #troll, #internet, #comment, #jerk, #hitler, #wwii, #nazi, #holocause, #joke, #social media, #etiquette, #netiquette, #technology

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Dick: People think there are millions of jerks on the Internet, but really it's just me. On a typical night I might make over seven thousand Hitler analogies. Dilbert: Maybe you should stop. Dick: That's what Poland said.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #time, #freedom, #free will, #schedule, #work load, #stress, #free time, #breaks, #lunch

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Boss: Schedule your training during your lunch hours so it doesn't impact your projects. Dilbert: But... my lunch hour is the only freedom I experience in a typical day. The rest of my time is either scheduled to the minute or driven by whatever crisis is happening. Please don't take my lunch hour and reduce me to nothing but a prisoner in a digital chain gang. I'm barely clinging to my illusion of free will as it is. This could push me over the edge. If you take away my one hour of freedom in the day, I might as well be a robot. Boss: Relax. This is temporary. Dilbert: For how long? Boss: Until I can replace you with a robot.

Boss Can't Be Your Friend

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Boss Can't Be Your Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #boss, #double standard, #employee, #hierarchy, #lunch, #rank, #guest artist, #jake tapper

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Man: Do you want to go to lunch? Boss: I can't be your friend because I'm your boss. Someday I might need to fire you, and it would be awkward if we were friends. Alice: Want to go to lunch? Boss: Sure.

Wally Might Be Jealous

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Wally Might Be Jealous - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2016's comic on:


Tags #work, #wife, #wives, #Women, #roles, #nagging, #demands, #cheating, #adultery, #relationships

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Wally: I hear you have two work wives. Dilbert: You sound jealous. Wally: Do I? Tina: Stop what you're doing and drive me to my car. Wally: Hee-hee! Snork.