Office Buildings Comic Strips - Page 33
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1000 Results for Office Buildings
View 321 - 330 results for office buildings comic strips. Discover the best "Office Buildings" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 05,
2002
Tags boss in jail, morale skyrocketed, profits soared, life had meaning, luck, two days
Transcript
The Boss says to Carol, "What happened while I was in jail?" Carol responds, "Morale skyrocketed, profits soared, and for the first time, life had meaning." The Boss walks into his office and thinks, "It's just my luck that I'd miss those two days."
Tuesday November 12,
2002
Tags short timer, chair, offcie, move arms, retirement, good example, piece of work
Transcript
The Boss approaches Asok and says, "Asok, go get the short-timer and push his chair to my office." Asok asks, "Is he injured?" The Boss replies, "No, he refuses to move his arms or legs until retirement." Asok is pushing the short-timer's chair and asks, "Are you a good example of what is called a 'piece of work?' The short-timer responds, "Except for the 'work' part."
Monday November 25,
2002
Tags headphones in offcie, humming, wishing luck, inconsiderate, drumming fingers
Transcript
Wally has headphones in his hand. He says to Dilbert, "From now on, I plan to wear headphones in the office." Wally puts them over his ears and continues, "I'll be drumming my fingers and humming all day, I might even whistle." Dilbert says, "Inconsiderate #%*!$" Wally says, "I can't hear you, but I assume you're wishing me luck."
Thursday November 28,
2002
Tags war on waste, wear shirt, honk, blow nose, program
Transcript
The Boss picks up a T-Shirt that says "Wow" and exclaims, "Each of you will get a shirt as part of my war on waste program!" Dilbert responds, "I wouldn't wear that shirt at home or in the office, so what good is..." Wally blows his nose loudly into a shirt, "Honk!" Dilbert says, "Oh. Nevermind."
Tuesday December 17,
2002
Tags work to death, six months, mentally incompetent, remove name, beneficiaries
Transcript
Headline: Estate Planning. Dilbert is in a lawyer's office. He says to the lawyer, "I expect to work myself to death in six months, so I need a will." The lawyer asks, "Are you mentally incompetent?" Dilbert responds, "I don't think so." The lawyer says, "Okay then, I'll remove my name from the list of beneficiaries."
Sunday January 12,
2003
Tags evil, great idea, ignorant and worthless, manage budgets, poorly conceived, project managers, pummel with fists
Transcript
Asok enters The Boss' office and says, "I thought of a great idea." Asok continues, "You could let the project managers manage their own budgets... What?" Asok starts to look scared. He says, "You're giving me a look. I must try to guess what it means." Asok continues, "We don't do things that way? If it were a good idea you'd already be doing it?" Asok clutches his tie in fear and continues, "My ideas are poorly conceived?! I can't see the big picture?" Asok jumps back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! I am ignorant and worthless!!" Asok punches himself in the face and exclaims, "I must pummel myself with my own tiny fists!!" He cries, "Ow! Ow!" Afterwards, The Boss says to Catbert, "They're kinda self-managed now." Catbert responds, "Very evil: I purr in your general direction."
Monday April 14,
2003
Tags leave work early, don't walk past, office of boss, just from roof, land in dumpster, leadership, cut throat
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our VP is mad because people are leaving work too early." The Boss turns to Alice and says, "If you need to leave early, don't walk past his office. Go to the roof and leap into the 'dumpster' in the alley." The VP sits smugly in his office and thinks, "Leadership triumphs again." Alice can be seen through the window behind him jumping off the roof into the dumpster.
Tuesday April 15,
2003
Tags unspecified short comings, co worker, accuser, witness protection program, boss, meeting, business
Transcript
Dilbert sits in The Boss' office. The Boss says, "A co-worker who shall remain nameless has accused you of unspecified shortcomings." The Boss continues, "Your accuser has been placed in the witness protection program." Dilbert asks, "You have a program for that?" The Boss replies, "Actually, I just forget who says what."
Monday April 21,
2003
Tags hostile work environment, continuous pressure, work, work and drink, forty cups, cutting back
Transcript
Wally enters The Boss' office and says, "You're creating a hostile work environment." Wally continues, "It's like there's continuous pressure to work." Wally shakes and exclaims, "But I'm only one person; I can't work and drink coffee!" The Boss replies, "I'm cutting you back to forty cups a day."
Friday May 16,
2003
Tags alice, giant magnifying glass, death ray, too warm, head too warm
Transcript
Catbert says to Alice, "Alice, I understand you've been using a giant magnifying glass as a death ray in the office." Alice responds, "It's not a death ray, I use it only to burn off toupees." Catbert replies, "Oh.. that's okay." A co-worker asks Dilbert, "Is your head too warm? My toupee is too warm."


