Ted Comic Strips - Page 33
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Character
448 Results for Ted
View 321 - 330 results for ted comic strips. Discover the best "Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 15,
2015
Alice Uses Social Media
Tags social media, twitter, careers, competition, deception, trick, flame, internet, technology
Transcript
Alice: Well, Ted, it looks like you and I are competing for the same promotion. My plan is to use social media to make you look bad. Catbert: I fired Ted for trash-talking you on Twitter. Alice: I don't have a social media account and it still works!
Saturday June 13,
2015
Health Sensor Predictes Death
Tags invention, success, technology, health monitor, fitbit, smart watch, heart, heart rate, death, medical
Transcript
Ted: The health sensors you built into our smart watch prototype aren't working. According to your stupid sensors, my heart is going to stop beating in... Dilbert: Yay me!
Wednesday August 05,
2015
Ted Died Last Week
Wednesday August 19,
2015
Software Killed Ted
Tags invention, software, free will, behavior, murder, anger, glitch, malfunction, control, self control, psychology, engineering
Transcript
Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.
Thursday August 20,
2015
Dilbert Has Free Will
Tags free will, crime, invention, murder, control, self control, guilt, innocence
Transcript
Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?
Friday August 21,
2015
Dilbert Goes To Jail
Tags guilt, innocence, cyborg, crime, criminal, fair, fairness, punishment, jail, responsibility
Transcript
Dilbert: You're arresting me for killing Ted, but a bug in my cyborg components made me do it. If I go to jail, you will remove the cyborg parts that caused the trouble and punish the organic parts of me that are innocent. Police Officer: It's funny when you put it that way.
Tuesday September 08,
2015
Ted Has A Bad Feeling
Tags fired, firing, prognostication, predict, psychic, complaining, complaint, prophecy
Transcript
Ted: I have a bad feeling about the direction of my project. Boss: You complain too much. You're fired. Dilbert: So... now you believe you can predict the future. Ted: Magic is real.
Wednesday September 23,
2015
Alice Networks With Ted
Tags lunch, gender, Women, business, success, double standard, attraction, networking, mixed signals, flirt, misinterpretation
Transcript
Alice: Hey, Ted! Are you free for lunch today? Ted: I'm happily married! Leave me alone! Alice: Relax. I only want to network with you. Ted: Is it because I'm ugly?
Friday November 06,
2015
Emoji Death Contract
Tags crime, communication, miscommunication, text, emoji, language, murder, accident, coverup, conspiracy
Transcript
Wally: We killed Ted, as you ordered in your clever text message full of emojis. Boss: That wasn't what I... Dilbert: Deniability. Got it. Wally: We didn't have this conversation.
Saturday November 07,
2015
Death By Emoji
Tags emoji, communication, miscommunication, murder, crime, deception, engineers, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: I tried to use emoji characters and accidentally ordered two of my engineers to kill Ted. They say they did it. CEO: Did the engineers complain about being too busy to do it? Boss: No. Oh, I see it now. CEO: Total hoax.


