Managers Comic Strips - Page 33

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596 Results for Managers

View 321 - 330 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers " comics from Dilbert.com.

Workplace Bully

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Workplace Bully - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, bully, managers & supervisors, office workers, threat, work

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Boss: Cheryl, the other employees are complaining that you're a workplace bully. Cheryl: Hand over your wallet or else I'll tell your boss you tried to give me a shoulder rub. Carol: Did you talk to her? Boss: Don't ever ask me to do anything for your again.

Exclamation Mark

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Exclamation Mark - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, email, managers & supervisors, office workers, pretend, sarcasm

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Boss: Why did you send me a sarcastic email response? Dilbert: I didn't. Boss: Then how do you explain this exclamation mark? Dilbert: I was pretending to be interested in what you said. Boss: Oh, okay. I like that.

Being More Nimble

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Being More Nimble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, decision, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm

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Boss: We need to be more innovative and more nimble. That's why I created a task force to consider forming a project team to write a white paper on how to start. Dilbert: Maybe they can fix you first. Boss: You can't fix perfect.

Teach Employees To Code

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Teach Employees To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, computers, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers, teaching, smart

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Boss: The job market is so tight we can't find any programmers. So I want you to teach some of our employees how to code. Dilbert: You mean the smart ones, I hope. Boss: No, we need the smart ones in their current jobs.

Bitter Losers

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Bitter Losers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, idea, lying, managers & supervisors, office workers, Promotion

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Boss: I'm promoting Ted for coming up with a genius idea to reduce our software expenses. Dilbert: That was actually my idea. All Ted did was tell you it was his idea. Boss: How do you put up with these bitter losers? Ted: The promotion helps.

Sabotage The Plan

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Sabotage The Plan  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, engineering, managers & supervisors, plan, sabatoge, incompetent

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Dilbert: We know our boss's plan is a bad idea, but it's our job to execute anyway. Wally: Maybe we should try to sabotage the plan by being incompetent. Dilbert: Since when do you need a reason to be incompetent? Wally: It's more of a "nice but not necessary" situation.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, engineering, frustration, managers & supervisors, office workers, work, schedule

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Dilbert: I finished coding the new feature. Boss: What took you so long? Dilbert: It took as long as it needed to take. Boss: You're behind schedule. Dilbert: I'm not the one who created the schedule! That was you!!! Maybe you should fire yourself for being so bad at making schedules. Boss: That's not how it works! Dilbert: What does that even mean? Boss: They're starting to catch on that most of what I say doesn't mean anything.

Changing The Website

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Changing The Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, internet & world wide web, managers & supervisors, sarcasm

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Dilbert: We need to change one of the links on our website. Boss: Pull together a study team, do a focus group, get buy-in from all departments, and present it at the next division meeting. Dilbert: I changed it while you were yammering. Boss: Let us never speak of this again.

Complaining Versus Hiding

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Complaining Versus Hiding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, complaining, employees, employment, jobs, managers & supervisors

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Asok: I'm doing the job of three people and it isn't fair. Boss: Good point. Alice is doing the job of seven people. I'll give you two of her jobs to balance it out. Wally: So...is complaining better than hiding? Asok: No...you were right.

Bad Mouthing Ted's Code

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Bad Mouthing Ted's Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, computer software, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, technology

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Boss: I want you to take over Ted's software upgrade. Can you finish that in a week? Dilbert: Are you kidding? It will take a week just to bad-mouth his existing code to everyone within walking distance. Boss: Is that part necessary? Dilbert: Like water to a fish.