Ted Comic Strips - Page 33

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

448 Results for Ted

View 321 - 330 results for ted comic strips. Discover the best "Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, technical questions, ventriloquism, ip router, suppository configuration, boss move lips, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, to Alice, "Alice, I need you to attend a metting with me to handle the technical questions." The boss says, "If the ask me a question, I'll move my lips while you do ventriloquism." The boss is in a meeting. He pretends to speak. Alice says, from behinds a book, "....and that's why your I.P. router in a suppository configuration."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags opposed to plan, emotionally invested, Opinion, meeting agenda

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits with Ted at a table. Dilbert hands Ted a piece of paper. Ted says, "I'm strongly opposed to your plan." Dilbert says, "You haven't read it." Ted says, "Oh, right. But now I'm emotionally invested in my opinion." Ted says, "This plan will never work!!!" Dilbert says, "That is the meeting agenda."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags radio to work, alice, breaks radio, sound of breaking

View Transcript

Transcript

A man peers into Alice's cubicle. He holds a radio. He says, "Hey, Alice, I brought my radio to work. You can hear it from your cubicle too." The man says, "Is there anything in particular that you want to hear?" Alice says, "Yes, ther is." Dilber looks suprise as Bam sounds come from Alice's cubicle and radio parts fly.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mandatory class, windows, training, teacher doesn't know, no computers, uses box, teeth as keyboard

View Transcript

Transcript

Tim stands at the front of the room. He says, "Welcome to the mandatory Windows NT class." Ted points to an easel with the words "Two weeks" written on it. "Personally, I've only been using a computer for...how long? Anyone?" Ted continues, "But a good trainer can teach any subject." Ted raises his hands over his head and says, "Okay, everyone stand up and stretch!" Ted continues to hold his arms over his head and says, "Or sit there and glare at me. That's good too." Ted holds a box upside down and says, "I forgot to reserve the room with the computers, so I'll use this box." Ted continues, "...and let's say this eraser is the moose." Dilbert sits with Dogbert on the couch and says, "I left when he told us to use our teeth as a keyboard." Dogbert says, "Ooh-yah."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ann, dilbert makes bet, hair on fire, curses, super natural powers, harms coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Ted stand behind Ann. Dilbert holds out a match. Dilbert says, "Ann, I made a bet with Ted that you could ignite this match by swearing at it." Ann screams at Ted, "How dare you bet against me, Ted, you #%!!*!" Ted's hair light on fire. Dilbert looks at the match. Dilbert says, "Dang! How about double or nothing!" Ted is now a smoking skull. Ted says, "I want my dollar."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags no real purpose, rais eissues, form action plans, urge to stomp, not very professional

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Ted and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Thank you all for comimg to the meeting that has no real purpose." Ted says, "Maybe we could raise issues and then form action plans." Alice says, "I have an urge to stomp you to death." Ted says, "That's not very professional of you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags injury free work, safety award, incentive to avoid injuries

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss holds us a plaque and says, "The safety award goes to Ted for his five years of injury-free work." Ted takes the plaque and says, "Thank you for this award. Without awards, there would be no incentive to avoid injuries." Ted turns and smiles nervously at the Boss as the Boss looks angrily at him.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 12 page response, email, decisons, read reaction, fyi

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Dilbert and Ted sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Alice, thank you for your twelve-page response to my e-mail last week." Alice smiles. Ted says, "But I was only sending it to you as an "FYI". Those decisions are already made." Alice's eyes widen. Alice grimaces, hands clench into fists of death. Ted says, "If I read your reaction right, you're wondering why I didn't say FYI on my e-mail."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bonus, discontinue, profcits, recorded message, redirect, serve customers better, tech support, evil

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted sits at the conference table next to Dilbert. He says, "We're discontinuing technical support of all our products." Ted continues, "A recorded message will explain it to the called this way..." Ted says, "'In order to serve our customers better, we've discontinued technical support.'" Dilbert looks at Ted and asks, "How does that serve customers better?" Ted answers, "We'll redirect those resources to other areas." Dilbert asks, "What other areas?" Ted replies, "Profits." Ted continues, "That makes your bonus larger. Any other questions?" Dilbert says, "Apparently I'm engulfed in evil." Ted says, "That's the spirit."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags worthless employee, newspapaer artcicles, routes them around, articles relevant, more work, third stall

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sit at his computer. Ted holds a piece of newsprint. Ted says, "I'm a worthless employee who cuts out newspaper articles and routes them around." Ted hands Wally the article. Ted says, "I used to make sure the articles were relevant, but that was more work that it was worth." Wally says, "I saw this already." Ted says, "It's from your paper. You always leave it in the third stall."