Work Comic Strips - Page 33
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1000 Results for Work
View 321 - 330 results for work comic strips. Discover the best "Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday September 08,
2016
Get Multiple Approvals
Tags managers, problems, work, frustration
Transcript
Boss: You need to get your capital budget approved by all of the department heads. We're in the middle of a reorg, so get approval from both the outgoing and the incoming managers. Dilbert: Someday I hope to solve a problem that is not caused by leadership. Boss: You'll never get that far.
Monday August 29,
2016
The Self Serving Consultant
Tags consultant, cruelty, laziness, work ethic, business
Transcript
The Self-Serving Consultant. Dogbert: I recommend firing this guy so you have more money for me. I also recommend withholding his final check until he makes all of my PowerPoint slides for me. Man: This is messed up. Dogbert: Add some recommendations so I sound smart.
Tuesday August 23,
2016
Wally Self Identifies As A Woman
Tags trans, transgender, gimmick
Transcript
Catbert: I heard that you self-identify as a woman. Wally: No, I don't. Catbert: Well, I need you to do that so the company can be supportive and win some awards for being a great place to work. Dilbert: Because why? Wally: I got my own bathroom.
Monday August 22,
2016
Wally's Inappropriate Attire
Tags dress code, outfit, crop top, deception, ploy, trick, telecommuting, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: That is inappropriate office attire! Go home and work remotely for the rest of the day. Dilbert: How'd it work out? Wally: Phase one was a total success. Phase two involves napping.
Saturday August 20,
2016
Dilbert Is Barely Trying
Tags jobs, progress, problems, expectations
Transcript
Dogbert: I've notice that you go to work every day and yet the world is still a boiling cesspool of terribleness. It's as if you're not even trying. Dilbert: I gotta go. I'm late for doing nothing useful. Dogbert: I'm already forgetting your name.
Thursday August 18,
2016
Wally Pays It Not Forward
Tags philosophy, life lesson, gratitude
Transcript
Asok: Do you have a philosophy for life? Wally: I try to make the world a better place. Have you heard the phrase, "Pay it forward?" Asok: Yes. Wally: I'm the end of the line for that sequence of events. It saves the rest of you a lot of work.
Sunday August 14,
2016
Tags workload, work ethic, laziness, teamwork, team, philosophy, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I don't know how you are stress-free when we have so much work to do. Wally: It's all about understanding percentages. No matter how hard you work, you will never finish even two percent of what needs to be done. The financial rewards of doing two percent of your work are identical to doing none. It's also a good idea to volunteer for several projects so everyone thinks you're working on the other ones. Your problem is that you're doing actual work for no good reason. Dilbert: My problem is that I'm doing your work plus my work! Wally: It's only two percent more work, you whiner.
Monday August 08,
2016
Boss Gets A Nickname
Tags scientist, nickname, obliviousness, stephen hawking, black holes, space, science
Transcript
Wally: Our new nickname for you is based on the work of Stephen Hawking. Hawking is one of the greatest scientific minds of our time. Boss: I like it! Dilbert: I need him to make a decision today. Carol: Toss it in the black hole.
Sunday August 07,
2016
Tags work, job, happiness, fulfillment, meaning, pleasure, struggle, engagement, business, psychology
Transcript
Asok: I want a job I can enjoy. Dilbert: You want to work for free? Asok: No, I just want to get paid for doing things I want to do. Dilbert: Perhaps you misunderstand the true nature of "work." The reason your employer pays you is because work is unpleasant by its very nature. If the job were fun, the company would charge you a fee for letting you do it. Boss: Asok, I need you to climb into the dumpster and find out what's making it smell so bad. Asok: At least I'm doing something useful. Boss: No, it's more of a curiosity situation.
Saturday July 30,
2016
Wally And Agile Programming
Tags laziness, work ethic, avoid, evasion, acrobatics
Transcript
Boss: I'll ask Wally to write this software. I haven't seen him since he took that agile programming class.

