2005 Comic Strips - Page 33
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Character
Monday February 14,
2005
Tags fbi, traced source, spam, revolutionary new pill, rolex watches, body fat
Transcript
"FBI, we need to talk to you." "We've traced the source of all internet spam to your house." "All of it?" "...The revolutionary new pill that turns your body fat into rolex watches!"
Sunday February 13,
2005
Tags erased data base, laptop, prototype, blamed boss, set up boss, erased, screamed
Transcript
Asok: "La-la-la-la-la... oops." "I inadvertently erased our entire customer database and all of the backups." "How can I explain this to our pointy-haired boss?" "Grab your laptop and follow me." "It's only a prototype. So whatever you do, don't touch anything." "GAAa!!! YOU ERASED THE CUSTOMER DATABASE!!" "ALL OF THE BACKUPS, TOO, YOU STUPID, STUPID #*@!*!" "I should've stopped before #*@!*!"
Saturday February 12,
2005
Tags bob, Dilbert, blackberry phone, dinosuar, ate phone
Transcript
Dilbert: "Bob, I bought you a Blackberry so I can send you e-mail day or night." Bob: "Thank you! I always wanted one of these!" "De-e-licious."
Friday February 11,
2005
Tags addicted to email, endorphins spike, loneliness and despair, email to self
Transcript
"I'm addicted to e-mail. My endorphins spike when I get a message." "When there are no messages, loneliness and despair overcome me." "Have you tried sending e-mail to yourself?" "We don't talk about that."
Thursday February 10,
2005
Tags balcberry, contact, do work, all day, prodcutivity
Transcript
Dilbert: "I need a Blackbery so I can be in e-mail contact at all times." "I'll be able to do work all day and all night. My productivity will soar!" The Boss: "Trust me, it doesn't look good."
Wednesday February 09,
2005
Tags worthless, subject matter expert, narrow field, vague field
Transcript
Wally: "People think I'm worthless, but in fact I'm a subject-matter expert in a very narrow field." "It's so narrow that it requires no knowledge whatsoever." Dilbert: "What field is it?" Wally: "There's no way to know for sure."
Tuesday February 08,
2005
Tags work well, superviuson, vague objectives, recognition, contribution, excited by criticism
Transcript
The Boss: Can you work well without supervision? Candidate: "Yes! I thrive on vague objectives and a complete lack of recognition for my contribution!" The Boss: "Can you handle criticism?" Candidate: "I'm not too proud to say it excites me!"
Monday February 07,
2005
Tags work, without supervsion, teal, hassle, show himself out
Transcript
The Boss: Can you work well without supervision? Candidate: "No. I need continuous supervision to keep me from stealin' and harassin'." The boss: "I think we're done here." Candidate: "Do you mind if I show myself out?"
Sunday February 06,
2005
Tags ceo visist, donuts, taste test, all donuts, dont panic, fix donuts, screaming, fresh and delicious
Transcript
The Boss: "Carol, I want to be certain that everything is perfect for the CEO's visit." "Check the doughnuts to make sure that they're fresh and delicious." Later Carol: Mmm... This one is okay." "How can I be sure this isn't the one good doughnut in the batch." "I'll have to taste every one of them." The Boss: "CAROL!!!" Carol: "Don't panic. I can fix this." "This is odd: Most of my doughnut is delicious, but one part tastes like gum."
Saturday February 05,
2005
Tags new vp, amrketing, xperinece, unrelated, indutry, assured, shampoo, sailing, Astrology
Transcript
The Boss: Our new VP of Marketing has twenty years of experience in an unrelated industry. "But he assured me that technology is the same as shampoo." "I predict smooth sailing." New VP: "Technology? I though you said astrology."


