2018 Comic Strips - Page 33
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Character
Wednesday February 14,
2018
Pill For Boss Conversations
Tags mental health, mental illness, crazy, managers, sanity, insane
Transcript
Boss: Catbert thinks I'm causing mental problems in my employees. That's crazy, right? Carol: Hold that thought. My doctor prescribed pills for when I have to talk to you.
Tuesday February 13,
2018
Anger Issues
Tags anger issues, listen to crazy people, mental problems, work weekend, crazy people
Transcript
The Boss: Im worried that all of my employees might have mental problems. The Boss: They exhibited anger issues when I told them to work all weekend for no extra pay. CatBert: Did they say you're the cause off their mental problems? The Boss: I dont listen to crazy people.
Monday February 12,
2018
Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health
Tags asoks health, boss worried, brilliant ideas, misunderstand, too dumb, dilbert's mental health, called into question
Transcript
The Boss: Im worried about DIlberts mental health because his ideas are so bad. Asok: How did you rule out the hypothesis that his ideas are brilliant but you're too dumb to understand them? The Boss: Now Im worried about Asok's mental health too.
Sunday February 11,
2018
Tags hazmat suit, harrass, wear suit, harrasment, offcie, prevention, dressed up, human resources, inappropriate delivery, business
Transcript
The Boss: Dilbert, I need you to wear this harazzmat suit when you meet with Tina. Tina will also be wearing a harazmatt suit. The suits will prevent you from trying to harass each other. You won't be able to speak directly. A radio inside the suit will transmit your words to our human resources department. Human resources will scrub your sentences of any inappropriate content before delivery. Dilbert: Doyon wear a harrazzmat suit when you talk to Tina privately? The Boss: No, but she wears three of them.
Saturday February 10,
2018
Need To Be More Creative
Tags manager, managing, creativity, company culture, control, leadership
Transcript
Boss: We need to be more creative. Also, don't do anything except what I tell you to do or else I'll fire you. Dilbert: Thank you for your leadership. Boss: We also need to communicate less.
Friday February 09,
2018
Obvious Ideas
Tags copyright, ideas, thinking, stealing, intellectual property, originality
Transcript
Boss: People keep stealing all of my great ideas. Alice: Have you ruled out the possibility that you only think of ideas that are obvious? Boss: Hmm... I hadn't considered that. Alice: And yet it was obvious.
Thursday February 08,
2018
Someone Stole Phb's Idea
Wednesday February 07,
2018
Wally Finds Critical Bug
Tags big business, bug, deception, insider trading, stock, trick
Transcript
Wally: I found a critical bug in our software that could make our product worthless in a week. If you give me a huge raise, I won't tell anyone about the problem until you sell all of your company stock. Boss: Deal! Narrator: Two weeks later. Boss: Why haven't I heard about the bug yet? Wally: You didn't ask me if I knew how to fix it.
Tuesday February 06,
2018
Wally Pivots
Tags work ethic, laziness, deception, projects
Transcript
Wally: My project was failing, so I pivoted to a different idea with the same name. Later, I'll change the project name to cover my tracks. Asok: What about your sunk costs? Wally: Gone like footprints in the sands of time.
Monday February 05,
2018
Sunk Costs
Tags money, big business, logic, loss, deception
Transcript
Dilbert: The economics of the project have changed. We need to shut it down. Boss: If we stop now, the $10 million we already spent will be wasted. Dilbert: And if we stop later? Boss: The trick is to never finish the project.


