2020 Comic Strips - Page 33
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Character
Saturday February 15,
2020
Before Or After Firing
Tags business, managers & supervisors, prototype, request, fire
Transcript
dilbert: we destroyed all of the prototypes you requested. boss: i never asked for anything remotely like that. dilbert: ted said you did. boss: did he tell you that before or after i fired him last week?
Friday February 14,
2020
Bias For Action
Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, co-workers, business, meeting, prototype, bias
Transcript
Co-workers around meeting table. Ted: our pointy-haired boss told us to scrap our prototype and start over from scratch. dilbert: o was in that meeting and he said nothing like that. maybe we should verify what he wants. ted: or... we could have a bias for action!
Thursday February 13,
2020
Price Gouging
Tags business, network, idiot, price, gouging, upgrade
Transcript
vendor: now that the network installation is half-done, i have you idiots right where i want you. it's too late for you to get a new vendor, so i'll be price-gouging you on upgrades you didn't even know you would need. dilbert: why are you telling us???? vendor: it makes it more fun for me.
Wednesday February 12,
2020
Upgrade Schedule
Tags business, vendor, network, upgrade, allocating, technology
Transcript
vendor: we should be able to finish the network upgrade in about three months. dilbert: when you bid for the job. you said it would take thirty days. vendor: if we're allocating blame. i'm not the one who was dumb enough to believe me.
Tuesday February 11,
2020
Who Is The Fool
Tags business, install, server, upgrade, fool, lie, technology
Transcript
vendor: we can't finish the installation unless you buy our server upgrade. dilbert: that means you lied when you bid for the job, because you did not include a server upgrade. vendor: who's the fool now? dilbert: that would be me.
Monday February 10,
2020
Tags business, conversation, excellent, hardware, network, price, record, reliability, warranty
Transcript
dilbert: the new hardware you bought isn't compatible with our network. boss: i know, but the price was excellent, and they have a great reliability record. dilbert: i don't even know what conversation i'm in right now. boss: the extended warranty is second to none.
Sunday February 09,
2020
Making World Better Place
Tags managers & supervisors, business, money, meeting, employees, taxes, cancer, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: i don't want employees who are only working for the money. i want employees who are working to make the world a better place. dilbert: how does working here make the world a better place? half of our products cause cancer, and the other half don't work at all. wally: we don't even pay taxes. one could argue that every day we spend working here makes the planet a little bit worse. boss: is that why i never see you doing any work? wally: when did it become a crime to care about people? sheesh!
Saturday February 08,
2020
Vendor Not Performing
Tags business, vendor, performance, replace, parent, company, subsidiaries, sub-contract
Transcript
dilbert: we will no longer be using you as a vendor because you have not performed. vendor employee: i already knew that because you replaced us with one of the subsidiaries of my parent company. dilbert: well, at least it isn't you. vendor employee voice on phone: who do think they sub-contract that work to?
Friday February 07,
2020
Email Versus Meeting
Thursday February 06,
2020
Slide Deck Too Well Designed
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, tasks, well-designed
Transcript
boss: your slide deck is too well-designed. it suggests you spend too much time on things that are not important. asok: you don't give me important tasks. boss: that's no excuse for good design.

