Great Cup Holder Comic Strips - Page 33

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View 321 - 330 results for great cup holder comic strips. Discover the best "Great Cup Holder" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #marketing video, #comments, #finished, #annoyed, #technology, #false, #wrong, #angry, #arms out, #Funny, #glare

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Woman says, "And that's our new marketing video. We hope it will go viral." The Boss says, "You'll have our comments by tomorrow." Woman says, "I'm not asking for comments. The video is already finished." Dilbert says, "The technology claims in the video are criminally inaccurate." Woman says, "I sent the script to engineering for comments three months ago!" Woman says, "I got an email back from someone named Wally who said it was great." Wally says, "I thought she was asking if it was funny."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job interview, #employee, #walk, #coffee cup, #applicant, #phone, #ring, #wake up, #brag

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The Boss says, "Interview this applicant and tell me if he's right for our company." Wally says, "Tim, we don't set the bar as high as we used to."<BRWally says, "In our golden days, we insisted on employees who could work tirelessly through the night." Wally says, "As business slowed, we were happy with anyone who put in eight hours a day." Wally says, "then our best people left." Wally says, "Now on cubicles are mostly used for napping." Wally says, "So my question is this: Would a ringing phone wak you up?" Tim says, "Probably." Wally says, "He comes across as a braggart."

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Company Lawyer "I did a trademark search on all of the excellent product names you suggested." "Every one of them is taken." "So I did a search on the names that weren't so great." "Those are taken, too." "Then I checked on the names iCrud, iPuke, EatDirtAndDie, and DefectiveProduct." "All taken." "So our new product name will be a combination of grunts and shrieks." "Like this? GrrrrrEeeyYaaa?" "That one is taken. Ours sounds more like a monkey passing a kidney stone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unqualified, #position, #job, #higher salray, #negotiate riase, #irrational dipwad, #easily manipulated, #bogus compariosns, #illusion of scaricity, #can't have you, #desparate to hire, #rationalizations, #total lack of qaulifications, #write the offer, #business

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"No offense, but you're totally unqualified for this position." Wally: "That's okay. I already have a job." "I just need a job offer at a higher salary so I can use it to negotiate for a raise." Wally: "My boss is an irrational dipwad who is easily manipulated by bogus comparisons and the illusion of scarcity." Wally: "Your offer will make him think my value is much higher than it actually is." "Great. Now that I know I can't have you, I desperately want to hire you." "My mind is already forming rationalizations for your total lack of qualifications!" "How do you turn this off?!!" Wally: "I'll tell you after you write the offer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #changed product design, #old design, #new design, #balme, #ahtred, #same person

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CoWorker: I changed the product design. Dilbert: "It's worse than the old design." Coworker: "You asked me to come up with a new design." Dilbert: "I meant a new design that's better than the old design." Coworker: "Great. You could have told me that before I did all this work." "How do you think this makes me feel?" "No one would blame me for hating you." "I'm the only sane person in this company."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #empty brain, #stress, #word knowledge, #past the filters, #mantra, #lindsay lohan, #britney spears, #paris hilton

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Ratbert: My brain is empty. "It feels great!" "Stress is just another word for knowledge." "Wait a minute. How do I know that?" "GAAA!!! Something got past the filters!" "Must...Do...Mantra..." "Lindsay Lohan...Britney Spears...Paris Hilton...Ommmmm." Dogbert: "Are you all good now?" Ratbert: "Have we met?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock holder meeting, #gadflies, #stock price dropped, #sleep at night

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Stockholder meeting CEO: Do we have any questions from Gadflies? You earned 72 million dollars while our stick price dropped nine percent. How can you sleep at night? CEO: ZZZZZ

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffe pot, #coffee stand, #offcie, #yell, #order coffee, #quality of life, #taste better

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Carol: "Don't you dare take another cup of coffee." "The more you drink, the more often I have to order coffee. You are destroying my quality of life!" "Gaaa!!!" Wally: "If this doesn't make the coffee taste better, I don't know what will."

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"And then we'll send the draft for review..." BZZZZZT! "Greetings. I am Wally from the year 2040." "In the future, time travel will be possible but highly unethical." "But it's only unethical if you make the mistake of changing anything from the past." "I was out of coffee so I came here to get a fresh cup. Ah, here we go." "I have to run. Make sure nothing changes because of my visit or it will kill everyone in the future." "Let me be the first to say that this feels awkward."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #director of marketing, #ideas, #undercuts authority, #boss, #putrid boss, #bullying, #initative, #hammered

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"I have a great idea." "I was chatting with the director of marketing and we...." "WHAT?!!" "Never discuss ideas with the director of marketing! Never!" "Erk!" "You work for me! When you talk to others managers it undercuts my authority!" "If I accept ideas from another manager, it's just like he's my boss!" "Amazing! Did you know that your behavior is described on page 27 of the 'Putrid Boss' Book? It's the chapter on killing initiative and bullying!" "That's fascinating. Now let me show you something that isn't in the book." "It looks like someone has been showing initiative." "Please shut up."