Managers Comic Strips - Page 33

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584 Results for Managers

View 321 - 330 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Centers Of Excellence

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Centers Of Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lie, #managers & supervisors, #office, #excellence

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the boss: make a slide deck that says our "centers of excellence" are creating more excellence. dilbert: do we have any data to support that claim? the boss: no. dilbert: you want me to lie? the boss: is that suddenly too much to ask.

Consultant Gets No Help

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Consultant Gets No Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #lazy, #managers & supervisors, #selfish, #stupid

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the new consultant: none of your department heads are cooperating with me. several are selfish, lazy and stupid, while others are actively working against me. maybe you could talk to them. ceo: i hired you so i wouldn't need to talk to losers.

Employee Engagement Survey

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Employee Engagement Survey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors

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boss: the employee engagement survey results are in. aaand...not a single person answered the survey. looks like we have room to improve. dilbert: have you considered bribery?

Thanking Everyone By Name

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Thanking Everyone By Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #name

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boss: i'd like to thank each member of the team by name...i'll start with what's-his-face here. voice from crowd: it's dilbert. boss: no, that's not it. you look like steve.

Can't Succeed Within The Rules

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Can't Succeed Within The Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #failure, #managers & supervisors, #rules, #success

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dilbert: if i follow all of our internal rules, my project will fail because of delays. and if i don't follow the rules, you will fire me. what should i do? boss: i like the option where the project is a success but you're a failure.

Toxic Employee Was Right

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Toxic Employee Was Right - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #fire, #managers & supervisors

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boss: does anyone have any suggestions for improving our company culture? dilbert: for starters, you could fire the toxic employee you hired for no good reason. boss whispers to toxic employee: you were right about dilbert being a hater. toxic employee: you should hear what he says about you.

Wally Writes Fiction

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Wally Writes Fiction - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #business, #managers & supervisors

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wally: i decided to try my hand at writing fiction. i like writing fiction because it doesn't require any research. i can literally make up a story out of nothing. i feel sorry for nonfiction writers. they have to get the facts right. but a fiction writer only has to use imagination. i can make any wild assumptions about the future that i want. boss: i asked you here to talk about your budget forecast. wally: that's what i was talking about.

Working From Home

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Working From Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #telecommute

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Dilbert: I'd like to work from home so I can be more productive. Boss: I can't manage you as easily when you're out of the office. Dilbert: That's why I'd be more productive. Boss: But you'd be missing out on all of this.

Leadership Conference In Maui

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Leadership Conference In Maui - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #vacations

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Boss: The leadership conference is in Maui next week. I need you to sit in for me...and do your own job at the same time. While I'm drinking on the beach. Dilbert: I get it!!!

Boss Makes Document Suggestions

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Boss Makes Document Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #report, #sarcasm

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Boss: Run this by Tina before you send it out. Dilbert: I already did. Boss: Make sure legal signs off on it. Dilbert: They did. Boss: Add the revenue graph from Alice's slide deck. Dilbert: It's in the exhibits in the back. Boss: You need to compare this plan to the "do nothing" option. Dilbert: That's on the next page. Boss: I need you to change something on this document so my life has meaning. Dilbert: I put a misspelled word on page seven for you. Boss: Fix it.