Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 33
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1000 Results for Office Workers
View 321 - 330 results for office workers comic strips. Discover the best "Office Workers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday May 28,
2020
Wally Borrows Money
Tags danger, health & safety, money, office workers, social distancing
Transcript
Wally: I heard you are not practicing social distancing. Can I borrow some money? CEO: What does social distancing have to do with borrowing money? Wally: I like borrowing money when I might not have to pay it back.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday May 30,
2020
Why Use Tests
Tags diseases, health & safety, medical, office workers, sarcasm, pandemic, virus, diagnose
Transcript
Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.
Sunday June 14,
2020
Need Boss To Make Decision
Tags argument, boss, decision, engineering, knowledge, marketing, office workers, sarcasm, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: We need your help making a decision. Jeff doesn't understand my product strategy because he isn't an engineer. And I don't understand any of his marketing nonsense. That's why we came to you. Boss: Because I understand both marketing and engineering? Dilbert: No, it's because you don't understand either one. We didn't have a coin to flip, and your decisions are totally random, so... Boss: Maybe you could describe the situation. Dilbert: I don't see how that helps.
Monday June 01,
2020
Wally Has Symptoms
Tags lie, office workers, sickness, pandemic, virus
Transcript
Wally: My throat has a tickle, so I'd better take a month off of work. The coronavirus tests can have some false negatives, and I love you too much to put you at risk. Dilbert: Did it work? Wally: No, I sold it too hard.
Tuesday June 02,
2020
Face Mask Assissination
Tags health & safety, office workers, suspicion, pandemic, virus, risk
Transcript
Carol: I think we should seriously consider ending the face mask policy. Boss: You know I'm in a high-risk group, and you are in a low-risk group. Are you trying to assassinate me? Carol: You can't prove that. Boss: I was hoping for something closer to a denial.
Wednesday June 03,
2020
Bead Of Sweat
Tags health & safety, idea, nervous, office workers, sickness, virus, paranoia, pandemic
Transcript
Man: What do you think of my idea? Dilbert: To be honest, I didn't hear a word of it. I spent the whole time being worried about that bead of sweat on your forehead. Man: It's warm in here! Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be a thousand yards in that direction.
Saturday June 06,
2020
Confident Wrong Guy
Tags boss, confidence, employees, insults, obliviousness, office workers, sarcasm, hire
Transcript
Boss: I hired a guy who is always wrong, yet he is inexplicably confident. Alice: Why? We already have one of you. Boss: I don't know what you meant by that. But I am confident it is wrong.
Sunday June 28,
2020
Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus
Tags attractive, contract, covid-19, dating, eyes, goodnight, kiss, lawyers, mask, masked, negotiations, office workers, single, technology
Transcript
carol: it must be difficult to be single in the age of covid-19. dilbert: it's not too bad, actually. i'm in contract negotiations with a semi-attractive women i met online. with any luck, i will be enjoying a double-masked goodnight kiss by late next month. that assumes our lawyers don't make too many changes to the contract. carol: did you just say she is only semi-attractive? dilbert: i'm judging from the parts i can see. i don't know what's under the mask and shower cap she wears all day. carol: you must like her eyes. dilbert: i like the one i can see. the other one has a patch.
Monday June 08,
2020
Disbanding Task Force
Tags boss, business, decision, office workers, sarcasm, technology
Transcript
Boss: Why did you disband the technology task force? They were critical. CEO: I didn't. I just replaced the people and changed the mission. Boss: That sounds a lot like disbanding it. CEO: Really? I was hoping it didn't.
Wednesday June 10,
2020
Hate Edits
Tags criticism, office workers, sarcasm, edit
Transcript
Dilbert: I didn't like your analysis, so I made some hate-edits. Man: What's a hate-edit? Dilbert: You'll see. Man: You changed "in my opinion" to "according to the squirrels in my skull." Dilbert: There you go.

