Smashed Pay Comic Strips - Page 33

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328 Results for Smashed Pay

View 321 - 328 results for smashed pay comic strips. Discover the best "Smashed Pay" comics from Dilbert.com.

Making World Better Place

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Making World Better Place - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, money, meeting, employees, taxes, cancer, sarcasm

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boss: i don't want employees who are only working for the money. i want employees who are working to make the world a better place. dilbert: how does working here make the world a better place? half of our products cause cancer, and the other half don't work at all. wally: we don't even pay taxes. one could argue that every day we spend working here makes the planet a little bit worse. boss: is that why i never see you doing any work? wally: when did it become a crime to care about people? sheesh!

What Good Is Money

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What Good Is Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, income, soul, money, earn, rent, own

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dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.

Wally Borrows Money

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Wally Borrows Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags danger, health & safety, money, office workers, social distancing

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Wally: I heard you are not practicing social distancing. Can I borrow some money? CEO: What does social distancing have to do with borrowing money? Wally: I like borrowing money when I might not have to pay it back.

Asok Is Overpaid

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Asok Is Overpaid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, project, technology, time, pay, argue, math, face mask, salary

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asok: i finished my project in half the projected time. boss: that means i'm paying you twice as much as you deserve. asok: i don't think it means that at all. boss: you look dumb arguing with math.

Ted Reimagined More

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Ted Reimagined More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, employment, unnecessary, job, budget, sarcasm

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boss: when i say we need to reimagine your job, it means we no longer need anyone to do what you have been doing. ted: do you mind if i ask when you first realized that my job was totally unnecessary? boss: it was four years ago, but you seemed happy, and we had the budget to pay you, so...

Audit Blackmail

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Audit Blackmail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, business, audit, software, blackmail, free, network, money, dollars

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dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered a number of software vulnerabilities. for example, a blackmailer could take control of your network and make you pay a billion dollars to get it back. ceo: good work. what do we owe you? dogbert: the audit is free. i only did it to find ways to blackmail you.

Loud Using Zoom

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Loud Using Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, zoom, mortgage, loud, noise, calls, war, blackmail, surprise, laptop, imagine

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dogbert: can you please stop talking so loudly on your zoom calls?!!! dilbert at home in front of laptop: i'm sorry, but i pay the mortgage, and i have a right to make as much noise as i want in my own house. dogbert: oh, wow. did you really play the "mortgage card" on me? dogbert: this is war! wait until you see what i do in the background of your next zoom call. i don't want to ruin the surprise, but think of the number-one worst thing you can imagine me doing. are you picturing it in your mind? it's bad isn't it? now imagine at the same time i also start doing the second-worst thing you can imagine. dilbert: noooo!!!!