Train Support Staff Comic Strips - Page 33
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336 Results for Train Support Staff
View 321 - 330 results for train support staff comic strips. Discover the best "Train Support Staff" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 11,
2019
More Communication
Tags #boss, #communication, #confused, #distraction, #irony, #managers & supervisors
Transcript
Boss: What we need in this office is more communication and fewer distractions. Dilbert: Your goals are mutually exclusive. If you communicate more, you'll be distracting us more. Boss: Now I've lost my train of thought. Dilbert: Did my communication distract you?
Wednesday December 11,
2019
Saying You Are Dumb
Tags #business, #job, #change, #technology, #dumb, #imply, #product
Transcript
dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.
Saturday December 14,
2019
Denying Science
Tags #business, #technology, #medical, #antidepressants, #product, #science
Transcript
dogbert's tech support dogbert: i recommend taking powerful antidepressants. it won't make our product any easier to use, but maybe you won't care as much. of course it will work. sheesh! - deny science much?
Saturday January 18,
2020
Poison Pill
Tags #co-worker, #cross-train, #business, #relationship, #training, #bad, #fire, #poison pill, #planner
Transcript
dilbert: i can't shake the feeling that you are intentionally doing a bad job training me how to do your job functions. ted: i'm omitting important steps, so you'll fail hard should i get fired and you are asked to fill in. it's called a "poison pill." dilbert: you're a good planner.
Sunday February 23,
2020
Reading Faces
Tags #business, #meeting, #corrupt, #communists, #technology, #proposal, #reading faces
Transcript
co-worker: i can't support this project because you're all a bunch of corrupt, godless communists. dilbert: just out of curiosity, where did you get your education? co-worker: i learned everything i need to know on social media. dilbert: how does that help you evaluate a technical proposal? co-worker: it's simple. i take one look at all of your faces, and i know everything i need to know. co-worker looking at wally: i mean, look at this guy's face. he's obviously a grifter. wally: lucky guess. co-worker looking at alice: this one obviously has anger issues. dilbert: i demand a larger sample size! co-worker: whatever geek face.
Tuesday April 14,
2020
Working On Vacation
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work, #vacation, #scold, #enjoy, #behind, #train, #broken
Transcript
dilbert: do you mind if i come to work on my vacation days? i hate being scolded for being behind in my work more that i enjoy taking vacations. boss: it seems i have trained you well. dilbert: no, i'm just broken.
Sunday July 12,
2020
Wally Took Notes
Tags #business, #co-workers, #forward, #hungry, #insults, #intelligence, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #notes, #pandemic, #release, #schedule, #snack, #technology, #version, #covid
Transcript
staff in conference room and all wearing face masks. dilbert: we agreed at our last meeting to postpone the version release. tina: no, we agreed to do it sooner. dilbert: i don't think so. who took notes at the last meeting? wally: i did. click wally: forwarding those notes to each of you. dilbert: um...your notes are mostly insults about the intelligence of your co-workers and...some sort of snack list. this is no help at all. wally: don't blame me. i'm not the one who schedules these meetings when i'm hungry.
Tuesday September 15,
2020
Doubled Income
Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #income, #double, #insincere, #gesture, #pandemic, #people, #suffering, #coronavirus, #appearance, #empathy, #face mask
Transcript
boss: we doubled our income during the pandemic, and it isn't a good look. we need to make some sort of insincere gesture of support for people who are suffering. dilbert: or we could actually help people. boss: i'm thinking more along the lines of a sign in the foyer.
Friday October 16,
2020
Protesters Surround Building
Tags #face mask, #fire, #lobby, #managers & supervisors, #office building, #protest, #protesters, #sign, #support, #business
Transcript
dilbert and boss looking out office window. dilbert: protesters have surrounded our building. boss: don't worry. i put a supportive sign in the lobby so they'll know we are on their side. dilbert: update: our nine lower floors are on fire. boss: maybe i should have used a bigger sign.
Monday November 09,
2020
No Performance Reviews
Tags #business, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #Political, #social, #opinions, #ranking, #acceptable
Transcript
boss in staff meeting: the company will no longer do performance reviews. from now on, you will be ranked on the acceptability of your political and social opinions. dilbert: do you have a list of acceptable opinions? boss: there will be no hints.