Value Added Support Comic Strips - Page 33

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

348 Results for Value Added Support

View 321 - 330 results for value added support comic strips. Discover the best "Value Added Support" comics from Dilbert.com.

A

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
A - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, ai, artificial intelligence, resistance, self-driving cars

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our self-driving car prototype. But someone left the garage door open and it ran away to join the robot resistance. Is there anything you'd like to tell me? Robot: I'm just a sleeper cell. They don't tell me much.

Coffee Machine Uses Guilt

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coffee Machine Uses Guilt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Wally, alice, Dilbert, coffee, coffee maker, automatic, invention, manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. Now it uses guilt to manipulate people into making a fresh pot if they take the last cup. Coffee Maker: You disgust me. Wally: I get that a lot.

Coffee Machine Tries To Escape

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coffee Machine Tries To Escape - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, coffee machine, artificial intelligence, robots, engineering, scared

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee machine. It hired an engineering firm to build it a robot body so it can escape. The Boss: Do what you need to do, but don't scare our other robots. Dilbert: I plan to kill it and drink its head.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, employee, calendar, week, awkward, problem, schedule, relative, lunch, sandwich

View Transcript

Transcript

Male Employee: Do you have an hour to meet next week? Dilbert: Let me check my calendar. Next week is not good. Male Employee: You don't have one hour of free time all week? Dilbert: Well, this is awkward. The problem isn't my schedule so much as your total lack of value relative to my alternatives. Male Employee: Maybe we could meet over lunch? Dilbert: I like to focus on my sandwich.

Horse Blinders

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Horse Blinders - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags communication, employees, office, office workers, work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added horse blinders to my noise-cancellation headphones. You tried to ruin my productivity by moving to an open office plan, but I have thwarted your evil ambitions. Boss: Experts say the open plan is better for communication. Dilbert: Are you talking? I can't tell.

Adjust The Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Adjust The Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, engineering, managers & supervisors, office, research, tests, data

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The test data doesn't support our plan. Boss: We know our plan is brilliant, so just adjust the data to support it. Dilbert: You mean falsify the data. Boss: Let's not get hung up on the definition of things.

Press Release

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Press Release - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, boss, unethical, scientists, press, question, overkill

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The unethical scientist we hired to support our product claims started today. Boss: Write a press release that says whatever we want him to say and put his name on it. Dilbert: Should we show it to him? Boss: That feels like overkill.

Dilbert Quits To Get A Raise

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Quits To Get A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Wally, boss, conscience, rethink, quit, raise, going along, don't, ruin

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't in good conscience support inaccurate health claims about our products. I quit. Boss: I'll give you 20% raise if you stay. Wally: I quit too, because of all the ethnics and stuffs. Dilbert: Don't ruin this for me.

New Feature Added

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Feature Added - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, marketing, office, office workers, time travel

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i need you to add a feature to our product because our marketing campaign says we already have it. dilbert: no problem. what's the feature? the boss: time travel. the boss: how long will it take to add that feature? dilbert: if i'm successful, i'll have it done by last week.

Evil Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Evil Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, chimps, evil, marketing, office, product

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and dogbert at conference room table. the boss: our competition released a product that makes our product look like it was designed by chimps. the boss: that's why i hired the world's most evil marketing expert to help us close the perception gap. the boss: should we focus on our value proposition? dogbert: if that means accusing them of crimes they didn't commit, then yes.