Work Comic Strips - Page 33
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1000 Results for Work
View 321 - 330 results for work comic strips. Discover the best "Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 14,
2004
Tags demand raise, doest care, promises, over promised, free work, suberb negiator
Transcript
Asok: I demand a raise or else I will quit today. the Boss: Goodbye. Asok: Noooo!!! please let me stay! I'll work every weekend for free!!! The boss: Okay. Dilbert: were you correct that your superior intelligence makes you a superb negotiator? Asok: Please shut up.
Monday July 23,
2012
Tags secretaries (office), increase work productivity, yammering, salted earth, great plan
Transcript
Boss: I just thought of a great idea for increasing workplace productivity. Carol: Does it involve standing near my workplace and yammering while I try to work? Boss: Geez. Who salted the Earth? Carol: Your plan is going great so far.
Monday July 30,
2012
Tags business failures/bankruptcies, stock market, innovative pordcuts, in pipeline, r&d budget, firings, sexy startup, work smarter, ironic, money
Transcript
Boss: Our stock is down 49% and we have no innovative products in the pipeline. CEO: Slash the R&D budget, fire 9,000 employees, and buy a sexy start-up company that we can run into the ground. Boss: We did all of that last year. CEO: Did I already tell the employees to work smarter? Boss: Yes. They thought you were being ironic.
Friday August 03,
2012
Tags managers & supervisors, work all night, inspiring employees, clearly defined roles, business
Transcript
Boss: We'll finish this project even if we have to work all night! Well, I just did my job of inspiring you, so I might as well go home. How do you like our clearly defined roles now?
Sunday August 12,
2012
Tags work ethic, great managing, engaged, disengaged, praise and recognition, encourage developement, important job, opinions count, prodcutivity, drop dead, learn and grow
Transcript
Wally: Here's a list of the twelve elements of great managing. If you do everything on that list, it will make me feel what experts call "engaged." If you fail to do your job properly, I will feel all disengaged and do poor work. This would be a convenient time to give me some praise and recognition. You might also want to encourage my development and tell me my job is important. Remember to care about me as a person and tell me my opinions count. If you do all of that, plus seven more things on the list, you might get some productivity out of me. Boss: Leave my office and drop dead. Wally: Will that help me learn and grow?
Monday September 13,
2004
Tags daughter sneezed, work from home, answer boss phone, phone messages aren't real, bitung humor
Transcript
Carol: "My daughter sneezed so the school is sending her home." "I'll work from home for the rest of the day." The Boss: "How will you answer my phone?" Carol: "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but none of your phone messages are real."
Saturday September 18,
2004
Tags people bothering, trying to work, get away, morons, unpleasant realization
Transcript
Wally: Have you ever noticed that people continuously bother you when you're trying to work? Thats why I come here - to get away from those morons. wally: Im having an unpleasant realization. Dilbert: They're all like that.
Thursday September 23,
2004
Tags ethics hotline, naughty thoughts, work hours, lost productivity, reimburse comapny, fortune, too honest, self imposing
Transcript
Ethics hotline This is dogcart. Please state your conundrum. Asok: sometimes I have naughty thoughts during work hours should I reimburse the company for lost productivity? Asok: Dang! Thi is costing me a fortune!
Wednesday September 29,
2004
Tags inflamed coccyx, unnecessary body parts, surgery over work, napping, slacker, watch tv
Transcript
"Do you have a price sheet for removing unnecessary body parts?" "I wouldn't mind a few days away from work, being waited on, watching TV and napping." "You have an inflamed coccyx?" "Yeah, it's gotta go."
Friday December 17,
2004
Tags advice for cousin, carerradvice, dilmon, frustrated work environement, scratch out meager living
Transcript
Your cousin Lauren just got her degree in English. Can you give her some career advice? "Would you enjoy scratching out a meager living in a frustrating work environment?" "I've never thought about it." "Obviously."

