Big Plot Comic Strips - Page 34

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338 Results for Big Plot

View 331 - 338 results for big plot comic strips. Discover the best "Big Plot" comics from Dilbert.com.

Great Job For Someone

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Great Job For Someone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, job, opening, private, office, opportunity, background, rid

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dilbert: i hear there's a great job opening in operations for someone with your background. big salary, private office. looks like a great opportunity for you. office worker: are you trying to get rid of me? dilbert: not in a way you are suppose to notice.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Two Bad Options

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Two Bad Options - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, business, business ethics, business failures/bankruptcies, hide, managers & supervisors, options, analysis, corporate

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Dilbert: I analyzed our only two options. One option costs too much, and the other option is impossible. Boss: Let's do the impossible one. Dilbert: Perhaps you can explain your reasoning. Boss: According to you, we will fail either way. But if we fail in a slow and inexpensive way, no one will even notice for months. With any luck, we'll have a corporate reorganization that forever hides our gross incompetence. Dilbert: Have you done this before? Boss: Every six months.

Factories No Buyers

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Factories No Buyers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, money, sarcasm, customers, poison

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Dilbert: Our factories are back online, but we have no buyers. It turns out that our customer base overlaps with the people who recently poisoned themselves with household disinfectants. Boss: Who could have seen that coming? Dilbert: I won a bet on it.

Word Salad

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Word Salad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, argument, implications, long term, ramifications, strategic, priorities, word salad, trigger, cognitive, dissonance, business, face mask

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boss: you think you made a good argument, but... you are failing to consider the overall implications of the long-term ramifications with regard to strategic priorities. dilbert: that big bowl of word salad suggests i triggered you into cognitive dissonance. boss: tuna carpet!

Where The Problems Are

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Where The Problems Are - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, application, app, technology, improvement, dumb, implement, problems, insult, face mask

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co-worker: do you have any suggestions for improving the app? dilbert: yes, but you are far too dumb to implement any of them, so i won't bother. co-worker: at least tell me where the problems are. dilbert pointing at co-worker: the big ones are all in this big bag of skin.

Make Or Break Project

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Make Or Break Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, project, career, performance, budget

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boss: dilbert, i'm putting you in charge of a project that will make or break your career. this is the big one. the rest of your life will depend on how you perform on this project. dilbert: what's my budget? boss: no budget.

Universe Preparing Problems

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Universe Preparing Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, universe, preparing, problems, anger, laptop, hate

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dilbert thinking in from of laptop: uh-oh. i don't seem to have any actual problems today. the universe hates it when i have no problems. it must be preparing a big one. dilbert yelling: what's it gonna be this time, universe?! carol: i'll come back.

Big Pharma Now

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Big Pharma Now - Dilbert by Scott Adams