Business People Comic Strips - Page 34

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Business People

View 331 - 340 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business attire, changing dress code, clothing style, sartorial alchemy lab, might spark

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss points to a slide and says, "Our dress code policy will go back to business attire." The Boss continues, "And I will keep changing the dress code until I find the clothing style that makes our profits go up!" Headline: Later, At The Sartorial Alchemy Lab. The Boss and Catbert are both wearing safety goggles. A shirt is being hung from a machine and The Boss is holding out a shoe. The Boss says, "Watch out. This might spark."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags last kid picked, team sports, school, two people, super power, breakroom, coffee break, education

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok and Wally are at the coffee machine. Wally says to Asok, "In school, I was always the last kid picked to be on a team." Alice enters and says, "I need two people right now. I'll take Asok and.. I'll keep looking." Asok asks Wally, "So it's like a super power?" Wally replies, "Pretty much."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rat hole, business plan, pay huge investment fees, money losing, take your money, push in hole

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is sitting outside behind a desk labeled, "Rat Hole." A businessman approaches holding a bag of money and asks, "May I throw money down the rat hole?" Dogbert replies, "Show me your business plan." Dogbert flips through the business plan and says, "You plan to pay huge investment banking fees to buy a low-margin, money-losing business..." Dogbert says, "For an extra fee, I'll push you in the hold and take your money." The businessman replies, "Oooh, sounds good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mostly cosmetic change, unplug, invention, people into sheep, cosmetic change

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is tinkering with a machine. He says to Dogbert, "My invention will turn people into mindless sheep." Dogbert responds, "I'm curious how you'll know it works. I assume it's mostly a cosmetic change." Dilbert has been transformed into a sheep, but he doesn't know it. He continues to tinker with the machine and asks, "Dogbert, did you unplug it as I asked you?" Dogbert replies, "Couldn't be bothered."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags downsized, good news, half huge raises, same people, ran numbers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "The good news is that half of you will get huge raises." The Boss continues, "The bad news is that half of you will be downsized tomorrow." Dilbert turns and says, "Is it the same people?" The Boss replies, "Yeah, we ran the numbers."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cutomers, delivery, business, took money, winner, lied

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "A customer keeps asking when we'll deliver the stuff they bought." The Boss asks, "When will we?" Dilbert responds, "Never, you lied to them to get their business." Dilbert continues, "You took their money and gave them nothing. Do you know what that makes you?" The Boss exclaims, "The winner!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new guy, middles part, forbid, near work space, not good people, 1970's called

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert introduces the new coworker to Carol, "Carol, this is our new guy, Harry Middlepart." Harry extends his hand. Carol responds, "I don't approve of your hairstyle. I forbid you to be near my workspace." Carol holds out the phone and yells, "The seventies called. They want their hair back!!" Harry says to Dilbert as they walk away, "She's not good people."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business card orders, downsized, 3 per week, possibility of leaving, rates, fees, calculations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches Carol and asks, "How many business cards should I order?" Carol responds, "It depends." Carol continues, "I use a complex formula based on your burn rate and your likelihood of getting downsized." Dilbert says, "I use about three per week." Carol replies, "You'll need three cards."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new thoughts, head heavier, compensate, meeting, no goals, be on stamp, future golas, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Wally says, "I think my head is getting heavier from all the new thoughts." Wally continues, "I plan to compensate by propping it up with my arm during meetings." Dilbert says, "Some people think you have no goals." Wally responds, "Long term, I hope to be on a stamp."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hire emplyees, qaulified, hore dumb people, motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands on The Boss' desk and says, "We can't afford to hire qualified employees." Catbert continues, "My plan is to hire dumb people and be angry at them." Catbert replies, "I forget - what's the word for pretending that people can change their basic nature?" The Boss replies, "Motivation?"