girl: my name is ...
dilbert: stop right there. my augmented reality glasses are showing me your entire social media history.
girl: i hope it makes a good first impression.
dilbert yelling: my god, you are dumb!
boss: i realize this report has dilbert's name on it, but the credit goes to me. because i ordered him to do it.
dilbert: actually, i came up with the idea and wrote it on my own time.
boss: well, i created the culture that made it all possible.
dilbert yelling: i did the work!!!