How To Comic Strips - Page 34
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1000 Results for How To
View 331 - 340 results for how-to comic strips. Discover the best "How To" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 10,
1993
Tags the boss, alice, Dilbert, seminar
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "I found a seminar that will teach fire-walking as a way to build confidence." The Boss continues, "Each of you will have to walk barefoot over burning coals while I watch!" Dilbert asks, "But amazingly, we learn how to do it without injury, right?" The Boss replies, "No, that seminar costs a lot more."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday December 15,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, pringles, dog
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Hey, Dogbert! I just discovered I can fit an entire change of clothes into an empty 'Pringles' potato chip can." Dilbert continues, "Most of the fabrics I wear can be rolled up pretty tight . . . So . . . Uh . . ." Dilbert walks away thinking, "It's funny how the most brilliant idea can sound silly when you tell your dog."
Thursday December 23,
1993
Tags christmas, Dilbert, Dogbert, office, computer, shopping
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk and Dogbert sits on the edge of the desk. Dogbert says, "How can this be the season of good cheer when I don't even have my gifts yet?" Dogbert continues, "I mean, what if you get me something stupid? I'll hate you forever and have to run away." Dilbert says, "Your psychology won't work this year. I will not buy more gifts." Dogbert says, "You'll probably find me dead in some snow bank."
Thursday January 06,
1994
Tags boss brain, profitable, cut costs, selling products
Transcript
"The boss's brain." "Hummm." "Theoretically, if I cut costs enough we'll be profitable without selling any products." "How do they get the ink in these things?"
Wednesday January 12,
1994
Tags converstaion, Dilbert, faking through, velcro works, block oxygen, brain
Transcript
Ted: "He's explaining something that I already understand. I've got to stop him." Dilbert: "Blah blah blah." Ted: "I'll try vigorous nodding and agreeing, plus closed body language." Dilbert: "Blah blah blah." "Right right right." Dilbert: "And have I ever told you how 'velcro' works?" TED: "Maybe if I block the oxygen to my brain..."
Monday January 17,
1994
Tags bugs, bugs are smater, cubcicle, dumb, permission denied, plastic, plastic plant, tell the difference
Transcript
Dilbert: Id like permission to keep a plastic plant in my crucible, Security guard: Permission denied! Plants attract bugs. If I can't tell its plastic how are the bugs going to know the difference? Dilbert: With all due respect m bugs are way smarter than you. Security: Oh yeah? Id like to see them do this job.
Thursday February 10,
1994
Tags delight customers, fire everybody, price of products, slogan, stop meetings, we waste your money
Transcript
The Boss: "We must constantly ask ourselves what we can do to delight our customers." Alice: "We could stop having these meetings, fire everybody in the room and lower the prices of our products." The Boss: "I was thinking more alone the lines of a slogan." Wally: "How about, 'we waste your money'?"
Friday February 11,
1994
Tags Dogbert, hit man for mob, get away with murder, cute, self complimentary, conversation
Transcript
Dogbert: "Have you ever noticed how incredibly cute I am?" "Look at this little black nose, soft furry ears, adorable little tail...with these looks I could get away with murder." "I'm thinking of becoming a hit man for the mob." Dilbert: "I'm glad we have these little talks."
Monday February 21,
1994
Tags back of neck, humane, layoffs, tranquilizer, unemployment offcie, wake up, shooter, gun, knocked out
Transcript
The Boss: The layoffs will be handled in the most human way possible. POW! Dilbert: How long does the tranquilizer last? The Boss: he'll wake up at the unemployment office,
Monday February 28,
1994
Tags reengineer, business processes, jump on band wagon
Transcript
The Boss: I just read this great book about how to 'reengineer' our business processes. everybody's doing it. We'd better jump under the bandwagon before the train leaves the station! Im putting you in charge. The Boss: If you need any management support you know where to go,

