Last Tuesday Comic Strips - Page 34

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

400 Results for Last Tuesday

View 331 - 340 results for last tuesday comic strips. Discover the best "Last Tuesday" comics from Dilbert.com.

Tina Isn't An Engineer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Isn't An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineer, evaluation, value, catch-22, fired, termination, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.

New Website Developer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Website Developer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags web, internet, site, development, code, time, deadline, coding, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our website developer quit one week before the site was scheduled to be finished. But I hired a new one so we can finish on time. Dilbert: Apparently, you have never met a website developer before. Boss: So, you will be done in about a week, right? Developer: It will take me a month just to throw away the last guy's code.

How The File Was Sent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How The File Was Sent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags communication, technology, text, app, email

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What's the URL for that site? Boss: I sent that to you last week. Dilbert: To which of my seven email addresses did you send it? Boss: Maybe I texted it to you. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this. Boss: Maybe I used Slack, or WhatsApp. Or I sent it to someone else.

Bought His Last Company

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bought His Last Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags comparison, comparing, merger, acquisition, liquidation, layoff, redundancy, big business, competition, darwin

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: That's now how we did it at my prior company. Boss: We bought your old company, fired all of the employees, and discontinued all of its products. Man: How is that possible? Boss: It's called "survival of the fittest." It's just science.

World's Saddest Club

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
World's Saddest Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags catch-22, deadline, lose-lose, choosing

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Can you get that analysis to me by Tuesday? Alice: Yes, if I do it poorly. Alternately, I can do it well and miss your deadline by a week. Man: That gives me no path to success. Alice: Welcome to the world's saddest club.

Who's Turn To Lie

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Who's Turn To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags excuse, excuses, deadline, lying

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO stopped by to see how long before we finish the new software. Dilbert: Whose turn is it to lie to him? Boss: I blamed Elbonian hackers last week. Dilbert: You're using all the good ones!

Boss Doesn't See Email

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Doesn't See Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags space, astronaut, engineering, laziness, bureaucracy, accident

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The crew of our first spaceship suffocated on the launchpad. Apparently, I got an email last week asking for approval to repair the oxygen generator. Carol: You killed them with your incompetence? Boss: I can't take all the credit. It was a team effort.

Programming Environment

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Programming Environment - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags productivity, programmer, engineer, developer, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish writing the software? Dilbert: No. I spent the last three days setting up my programming environment. Boss: So... you've done... nothing? Dilbert: Nothing you'd understand.

Technical Debt

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Technical Debt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadline, stress, pressure, coding, programmer, mistake, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish the software yet? Dilbert: No, I'm still paying off the technical debt from the last programmer you rushed. Boss: I don't know what that means. Dilbert: Well, that explains a lot.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, scope, negotiating, engineer, demands, failure, stress, business, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to cut our budget. Go to all of our vendors and tell them to reduce their prices. Dilbert: Why would they do that for us? Boss: Tell them we'll buy from someone else unless they do. Dilbert: That's what we told them to get the prices we have now. I'm an engineer, not a professional negotiator. Your plan has failure designed into it. Your poor leadership already has me on the edge of madness. This could push me over the edge. Boss: And I need it done by Tuesday.